catching up

Karen, my princess, break the night down into hours, minutes and seconds, reach out for help if you need it and i am here if you want some company.

Try to rest my angel, it has been a really big day.

my angel, gentle hugs, please be kind to yourself.

Jacques

Yes my angel, we can sit together, maybe snuggle and focus on each other.

My anxiety is bad, my aunt keeps ringing to see if i will ok her living here, i told mum it was her decision, now the carpet in the hallways has gone funny, i think i have ruined the carpet, it has ripples in it, i don't know how to fix it, i am so upset with myself, i was being so careful and still managed to mess up.

i have been trying so hard to distract, i am sorry Karen, my problems pale in comparison to yours. i am so scared i will not be able to finish the house, i seem to have less and less energy, and now with my aunt comming here, money is going to be tight again, i don't think the house will ever get finished now.

it is tough, it breaks my heart to leave mum with an unfinished home.

My princess you are so special to me too, it upsets me so much to see you hurting, i wish i could make things better for you, you deserve so much better than you are getting.

Karen, you will have me in your life always, i am going to hold onto your hand and never let go, promise me you will do the same 🙂

We need to try to think of a way for you to let out your emotions Karen, i was thinking drawing, do you have a diary? you really need to find an outlet, i am trying to do the same, i so wish i could draw, i am not artistic at all, is it hard to learn, how did you learn?

my angel, please remember you have a friend for life, i will always be by your side. good times and bad.

Oh ok my angel, i have never been able to draw or paint, i think i will stick to my ships, if i can ever do one again.

Oh my angel, have you been to the news agents lately? their are so many mandala books out now, i have bought 5 of them, maybe i should do them when i get anxious, to help calm down. i still like incense and watching candles. their is something soothing in them.

My angel, you are so welcome, i am just glad i can show you kindess and that someone cares about you, your worth to me is more than gold, you are special to me and always will be.

what sort of madala do you like most? i like the floral ones the best. with my OCD i cant do patturns, they are too stressful for me, i have to get all the colours just right, it is more stressful for me doing them. the florals allows me to be free.

I hope you have gone to sleep my angel, you need to rest, i will watch over you, keep you safe, tomorrow is a new day, i hope it is a better one for you.

hugs my princess, sleep tight. miss you

Jacques

Hi my angel,

I hope you are not too upset today, you really need to distract today to keep your mind busy.

Sorry Karen, i am struggling myself, my mind has just gone blank, please be safe, hugs my sweet princess. i am here for you. you are not alone. 🙂

Jacques