catching up

I knew you were worried about @hiddenite not posting today. So I dropped in. I feel insecure about talking about friendship. Always feel unworthy.

Yet we have shared a lot in the last 7 months.

Take care and be gentle with yourself. @Jacques

I will pray she is safe.

Oh @Appleblossom, i feel you are my friend, you are worthy of friendship, everyone is.

Thank you @Appleblossom, your thoughts and well wishes are so kind, i wish i could help support you more.

take care

Jacques

I dont think of you as a bad person at all. I doubt you would be sent off the sane foum. Your presence here is very caring and you seem a real gentleman.

I wish I knew what i could do to help you be kinder to yourself.

Rejection is difficult. I am beginning to think it says more about the person who is closing off. That doesnt stop it from hurting though.

Maybe it is only a game but some people take them very seriously and I guess the moderators take a stance which may not be fair. @Jacques I have never played a game online ... so dont really know.

Is there some music that would help you settle.

I have always hated myself @Appleblossom, ever since i was a child, i always felt i should have died when i was born, (i was not breathing for 10 min when i was born, mum almost died having me.), i often think that was a sign then that i did not belong on earth.

yes some people do, i play games as a distraction, as a way to stay away from SH, it was not about the game for me, it was losing yet another source of social connection, which is limited anyway because i can't interact in real life, so the only social interaction i have is online, like forums like this.

I am watching a movie to try to distract. i have been listening to calming music all day to help.

I do try to be kind to myself, but i am stuggling lately to know how, i suppose lack of sleep is playing a big part at the moment.

i might try to get some rest now, thank you so much for chatting to me @Appleblossom, i really wish i was able to be here for you when you where struggling a few weeks back, i was just scared i would make things worse for you.

take care my friend. thank you once again. 🙂

Jacques

Sleep well @Jacques

You were there for me .. thanks

Hi My angel,

I am desperatly hoping you are safe, i can't go through morning you again, i lost you once, it can't happen again. please, please be safe.

I feel so helpless i want you to be safe.

If you are their please know i am here for you. missing you a lot.

Jacques

Morning @Jacques,

I just wanted to pop in and say hi, and see how you’re doing.

It makes me sad to hear you say unkind things about yourself Jacques. From everything I’ve read on the Forums, all I see is a wonderful, kind, giving, caring, capable and courageous person. I know I don’t know you personally, and I certainly can’t understand the demons you struggle with, but I see your effort and your dedication to support others, and your willingness to be open and honest about your vulnerabilities, and to work with them every day. To me, that is true strength; true character. It’s not about having everything in order and feeling on top of life all the time, but rather accepting and working with our weaknesses, trying each day to be as loving and compassionate as we can to ourselves and the people in our life.

A friend gave me this amazing book a few months ago; it’s called “Touchstones: A Book of Daily Mediations for Men”. I’m not sure if you’ve come across it before, but I’ve found it to be a little tome of daily inspiration that helps me embrace the difficulty of life and accept myself more fully, imperfections and all. Perhaps you might like to read it?

I hope you’re having a good morning Jacques.

Take care,
supernova.

Hi @Jacques,

I’m sorry to hear you are feeling so down at the moment. @hiddenite did mention that she had an appointment with her treating team yesterday, so it is possible that they may have admitted her to hospital for a period. In which case, she may not have been allowed to take her phone with her and can’t access the Forums to reply.

Good to hear you found the book, it's a great read. Please take care of yourself today.

supernova.