catching up

Hi my angel,

How are you today?

Ooooh i feel so special, a massage, yes please 🙂 we went to town this morning because it is 40 degrees today, we thought we would go down in the cool of the morning.

Oh my angel, how about i share a pic of dinner, maybe you can enjoy it with us, how does that sound. 🙂

Karen, you know if their was any way i could i would have sent you a bunch of flowers, i so wish i could, to show you how much i care for you and that you are a wonderful person.

anyway i will post a pic of the meal, i hope it helps you feel like you are being pempered too 🙂

hugs my angel, you deserve only happyness.

Jacques

Oh yes my angel, well thats what an infection will do, it is you bodys way of regenerating itself, listen to it Karen, your body know whats best.

Oh yes, i melted doing the house work this afternoon, but the house is all clean and tidy so i am happy.

That is wondeful Karen, i will post a photo about 5pm, i hope you enjoy it my angel, hey this is our first valentines together 🙂 this will be a psecial memory for me, spending this day with my best friend.

That would be lovely Karen, some music, i just downloaded the band America and the Doors, mum's favourite song is "the horse with no name", we where listening to it this morning. do you like these two bands?

hugs my princess

Jacques

Oh ok Karen, it is good to listen to music of your past, i find it brings back memories of mum and dad in happier times.

Karen, i wish i could do more to help and support you, i really do, i hope you can accept i am trying my hardest to make you feel special.

Oh Karen, i do understand how the voices work, they are evil things, they abuse us, they bully us, we need to ignore them, they are not worth paying attention to, we need to surround ourselves with voices of support, you are my voice of support.

Karen you need to tell those voices you will not be bullied by them anymore, you will do things to care for yourself because you are worth it. i hope you can find the courage to stand up to it, and even use your stubborness to rebel against it, i am trying to do the same, when the voice tells me i am worthless, i prove to myself i am not.

Karen Ii will always be here for you, always, unconditionally, please remember that, i only ever have your best interest at heart. you deserve my kindness and i am honly to happy to give it 🙂

Karen it is not about disapppointing me or upsetting me, you need to help yourself for you, your life is worth living, you deserve happyness, love, care, kindness, compassion, friendship. from other people but more importantly from yourself, don't allow what others have done to you continue, no one is abusing you or bullying you now but yourself.

Karen, sometimes we can be our own worst enemy, we can also be our own best friend, we need to choose which one we want to be. do you have the courage to love yourself again?

These are questions we need to ask ourselves, for only we can give the answer. it takes strength and courage to care for yourself, don't wast any of theat strength hurting yourself, it is wasted strength.

you are a good person Karen, you need to look in the mirror and honestly see and believe that you want to love yourself again.

i am always goign to be here for you Karen, you don't have to prove anything to me, i am already proud of you, just the fact of you being here shows how much strength you have already put into self-love.

Yes Karen, i do practice this, i don't always succeed, but i try, that is all i can do.

I would not tell you to do something i would not be willing to do myself, Karen, i can be really hard on myself, but i can also love myself too, we need to ride out the tough times and cherish the good times, allow those memories of good times to guide us through the tough times.

I tell myself i am fat, lazy, useless, a wast of space. I also tell myself i am good at being a handy man, good at providing care for mum, an asset to mum's future, and i am a fast learner.

Karen it is always easier to give up, always, it is so hard to keep going, but we must, for ourselves and for the ones we love. i can tell you 100 things i am useless at, and only a handful of things i am good at, does that mean the bad outweighs the good? no, it means i am not trying hard enough to show myself the love and respect i deserve.

i am a strong believer in the saying "we are our own worst enemy" because sometimes we really are. we make things so hard for ourselves, sometimes we abuse ourselves far worse than anybody else can abuse us.

my angel, i promise i practice what i preach. you know i struggle you also know i fight on. even when i want to give up.