catching up

That is ok my angel, how about we just sit together, we don't have to talk or anything, just sit.

gentle hugs my angel.

Jacques

Hi My angel,

Well i hope your morning is ok, i know you will still be low, please try to reach out to your treating team, i will support you whatever choice you make, you know that my friend 🙂

It has just started raining here, the smell of it is devine, the thunder is just audiable, so nice.

i have to take mum's friend back to the hospital this morning to go for a checkup, will be home by lunchtime at the latest.

i could not sleep last night, such a severe panic attack, feel a bit grogy this morning, got to sleep at 4am.

my thoughts and well wishes will be with you my angel, my princess, my friend 🙂

Jacques

@hiddenite I am a little bit confused. Surely there are more services closer to you than 100km away. You arent in an isolated rarul situation .. but on the edge of a huge metro region ... if you are liking the particular professionals for the kids they must give you points for the drive and commitment to your kids ... possibly they can contract out to a relevant professional closer to you?

Take care and go gently with your self concept and your feelings ... learn to put up a barrier to deflect unfair comments.

Sadly I think it is some of the pressure of motherhood that warps mother daughter relationships generally. I was so caring about my mother's mental breakdown ... but she was so proud and in the end went to her death saying things that showed she did not really love me or understand me but was more determined to defend her reputation.

I believe it is a feminst issue... it is such a dreadful waste of productivity and the possibility of joy and sharing.

Hi my angel,

I was really struggling, had bad chest pains, could not control my breathing and i got hot flushes for the first time.

I am home now and have managed to get some of it under control.

My angel i am so sad and upset that you are being treated so badly, you deserve so much better from the Mental health system, Karen, you just need to do what you have always done, break your day down into hours, minutes and seconds.

Keep yourself safe and distract as much as possible, i am hoping when the girls get back to school you can distract with the house. it might help control the dark moods, i know i need to keep busy to keep my thoughts under control.

hugs my angel, lots and lots of hugs. i so wish i could help comfort you, make you feel better.

Jacques

I feel so bad, i know you are struggling so much more than me.

My angel, i know you have tried so hard to reach out for help, i just hope my offer of support will help you get through the dark times, i am struggling to think of another option, have you looked at the web sites i provided you yesterday? their are many places Karen, maybe one could have a spare bed? my angel, i so wish your treating team would do their job, it makes me so upset to see they are not doing their job, and keeping their duty of care.

i am here if you want to talk or just sit with me. i wish i could be their personally to help you through this, please remember my angel, it is just thoughts and you don't need to act on those thoughts.

gentle hugs my angel, i just wish i could hold you, give you comfort. 🙂

Jacques

Oh my angel, i am so sorry, the system is so stupid, it will not tell you what i think of it, i don't want to upset you.

Is their anything i can do to help? My angel, you just need to do waht you have always done, break your day into hours and minutes, you have done it in the past and you can do it now, i know it will be hard, but you must try, i know you have the inner strength, even though you are exhausted, i will help you in any way i can, just let me know and i will try my best. 🙂

can you try to get some rest now? i know it is hard with the girls, but being exhausted makes dealing with this so much harder. please try, if you can't find something to distract, maybe get out some pencil and paper and draw, even if your hands are shaking just draw, it will give your mind something to focus on other than the dark thoughts.

Karen i do anything i can to distract, i am haveing to distract all night now, until i can fall asleep, it does work, you just need to find something that works for you. even if it is just scribbling on paper.

Please try Karen, my angel you have so many friends on here who care for you a lot, you are not alone, please remember that.

hugs my angel, lots and lots of hugs.

i am going to try for a little rest myself, i hope you don't mind, i am so exhausted, i did not get to sleep last night until 4am.

thinking of you my precious angel.

Jacques