My special place

Hi there @Bast

It sounds like you are in a very low place this evening and I am so sorry to hear that Bast. Good on you for reaching out for support. I am very concerned about your safety from your comment that you wish you weren't around. Are you at risk of harming yourself? Please reach out for support off the forums if you need help to keep yourself safe.

Some 24 hour help lines are:

Lifeline 13 11 14

Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467

The Samaritans 1800 309 160

Please phone 000 if you are in a crisis.

thinking of you

Whitehawk

Whitehawk

Such a wondrous name, I thank you for your reply. Your comprehension matters so much to me. The power of a hawk so resonates with me, the flight of a hawk is an experience for me forever. And yes, I am Ok again, perhaps we can correspond for a while.

No need to apologise @outlander

Hope you get some sleep hun

As always, when i write somehow this helps.

Unfortunately I am drowning in sludge, over & over again. I just so hate being so pathetic, I should be fine by now. And yes....what is the point of anything. I ran around my house an did some much overdue cleaning, perhaps a little less grotty as a result. I know I am gifted and help others, & I am adept, as per multiple reports. I am also so sad & alone. As i can speak honestly on this forum, and feel supported without my privacy being breached, this matters so much to me. I continue to reflect upon so many harms, in particular I am now aware of a cat that is likely to being subjected to abuse, I cry. However I am continuing to consider how best to escape my journey again, I simply cannot find meaning any more - lived but why.

Thank you for the resouces.

Not great from previous experiences & the repercussions.

It is such a significant question for me - how come I am still here, rescued 4 years ago somehow.

I have had contact from the agency since regarding a client, now again struggling so badly with the repercussions of what happened in 2016. Perhaps I can liken it best to an oemeba that is taking over my mind. I am awakening regularly again throughout the night - there is something strange also because I awaken at 4.44 am. I do firmly believe that my life is my own decision. I am OK with your support.