Thanks all for your replies.
@Faith-and-HopeI kindly told the nurse that if I could think happy thoughts I wouldn't be in here!
@Phoenix_Risingyes I could feel your crankyness through my screen, so thankyou for validating my thoughts.
@Sans911@outlander@Bunniekins
So today started off pretty crappy but did turn around for the better.
I did a mindfulness practice thins morning followed by a workshop on Understanding Guilt, shame and forgiveness. Didn't nearly go but made myself. Had quite a few leaks during the workshop as it brought up a lot of feelings of guilt and shame that I place on myself and why we are so hard on ourselves. I was not the only leaky one so that was good 
I have not reached the forgiveness stage yet as I think that will take time, but it was good to hear from others that have started that journey. Went to contemplation and journaling this afternoon followed by relaxation. I am glad I forced myself to attend these groups rather than stay huddled in a ball and hidden away, as it gave me a chance to give myself a pat on the back, something I rarely do.
In amongst all of this, I had another session with my pdoc and hubby came along. We have set out a safety plan for at home for when things go bad that he can remind me on what I have to do and the steps are written down for both of us to see.
I am still having some thoughts of SH/SI but they have reduced, especially the SI thoughts which is a nice change for my brain. If all goes ok tomorrow, I am heading home on Friday which has brought mixed emotions. Good to be going home, my own comfy bed, a proper shower!, my kids, my dog and of course hubby, but scared because I don't want to fall back into my old ways. I do realise however not everything will be fixed, however I feel more in control of my actions, something I was greatly missing two weeks ago. I also spoke to the head nurse about my concerns with the other nurses. Not sure if any changes will take place, but I was heard so am happy with that.
@Sans911placed no night med (the one that is used for high blood pressure) to help with nightmares which can be increased with my normal pdoc once out.
@Phoenix_Risingbe happy to know that the pdoc has submitted the forms for a DBT course so hopefully the wait isn't too long and can get some more info soon.
So only time will tell if this hospital admission was a good thing. There sure have been some up's and down's during this time, however I do feel I have a bit more clarity for myself, and if it can stop me from going down a destructive path then I will be satisfied.
Have already booked in appts. next week with normal pdoc and psych so will have that support continuing.
I think that is it. Thanks for reading my essay, sorry if I missed tagging anyone. 
