My special place

Hiya @Snowie - I hear you feeling all kinds of worthlessness right now. Sitting with you on that difficult place. Do you want to talk about anything? Or nothing?

I completely get it @Snowie. I've often said the same thing to @outlander (and yourself too I think).

It doesn't help to motivate you to keep going when you keep feeling this way, does it? It just feels pointless and hopeless.

When do you see your pdoc again? Would it be worth emailing them? I understand that it won't fix anything, but the professional support might help. Especially when you can't talk about certain things here.

2 weeks is a long time to wait to see your pdoc hun. Especially with the way you are feeling. Can you try to get in to see them earlier?

Possibly a stupid question but you have any prn medication that might help even just for a little while?

Yes I guess there might be an expectation that the TMS might/should of helped, but that's not always the way. Sometimes treatments, medications aren't helpful and it takes a long time to find something, anything that helps. And even then, there might be nothing that is helpful. Which is kind of the hell hole you are in.

If you're struggling to keep yourself safe hun you may need to go to hospital - not the option you like I know but when faced with demon thoughts that won't let up, there are few options left.

But for now, I'm here for you. I don't have any solutions or answers (and you probably don't want those anyway). Just know that I care deeply about you and will sit in this darkness so you don't feel so alone

Today (and any other day) I would rather hear your ramblings (your words-because I see them as cries of your heart) and be here for you then never hear your words ever again. And I'm almost sorry I mentioned hospital but I want you here tonight and beyond. And I know that a tiny, tiny part of you does too.

Let's just get through the next hour for now shall we? Do you want some distractions - ie I can share some stories about my life.

@Snowie