My special place

Yes, I'm very much the same @outlander. These last couple of years not working have been really challenging. I've never 'felt' really mentally ill (idk denial or something like that). So I often felt energetic and could keep doing whatever. I've always been like that. Perhaps that's why in the last year everything has caught up with me and I have had the major exhaustion and fatigue.

I just found a couple of old diaries that I need to put with other ones. I noticed that I often had two jobs, and some years volunteering on top of two jobs! I took on extra shifts and overtime at work also. Even through three years of university nursing studies I had two jobs. I thrived on being busy. It's not too bad now to slow down a little. I can't see myself ever having the capacity to be like that again. I don't want to work full-time anymore. But doing nothing is absolutely the worst thing for me.

That is alot to take on @Sans911 i dont think i could take on that much. I guess in a way when youve been busy for so long you tend to not think of your energy levels. Somehow you just seem to keep on going and going and going because its the norm for you. Once you stop though its a different story.

I really hope that youll be able to get back into the workforce in some sort of capacity. I think it would be good for you too. Volunteering is great but there seems to be 'something' about having a job too.

You have a lot on your plate in your own way @outlander. Your pop, sisters, work, plus health. I think that's a heck of a lot of stuff to manage. Lots of managing people's emotions too, including your own. Tough stuff.

I was aware of my energy levels at times. I frequently used to do two nursing shifts that added up to 18hours. For quite a while I then used to drive for one and a half hours to my home. I frequently swerved across lanes & even hallucinated that I was seeing elephants on the freeway! Often I would pull off the freeway for a nap. But eventually I told my manager I was happy to do these overtime shifts if I could stay in the nurses quarters. Then there have been other times that I've been so tired that I've barely got through a nursing shift. Not the safest practice! I'm definitely over night shift now, and I could still do a double shift a few years ago, but only during the day.

Thats abit scary! @Sans911 i had to giggle at elephants on the freeway though. God only knows where our brains think of that stuff lol.
Are nursing shifts 9 hrs? I thought they were only like 6ish like most other jobs.

Yeah i do have a lot of things to manage. I dont really enjoy it or want to be doing it but im trying to accept that this is the way it is for now not forever.

You have to remember kiddo you are almost 30 years younger than me! That means you have lots and lots more living to do yet. Your sisters will grow up, you may move away yourself and life will likely be very different for you. So there is much potential great things to come in your life yet.

Nursing shifts are any kind of hours now. Mostly they are 8 hours in general wards for day shift, and sometimes 9 or 10 hours night shift. I mostly worked in critical care areas such as ICU, CCU, Emergency and others so most hospitals have now switched over to 12hour shifts for these areas. It means staff only need to work 7x shifts a fortnight, so more days off. Very busy, punishing shifts though. The 18 hour shifts I mentioned are a 8hour day and a 10hour night.

When I did agency shifts a couple of years ago it was 6 hours. I liked these hours a lot, because an extra shift meant 12hours.

My longest shifts have been on the cruise ships when we had outbreaks. I once worked 20hours,had 4hours sleep and came back to work for another 8hours. Brutal!

I hope I'm not keeping you up lil Sis @outlander 💜 💜

Evening @Snowie @outlander @Shaz51 @Appleblossom @CheerBear @Teej

Hi hun. I'm doing OK tonight. My day has been alright. I did an afternoon volunteering at the op shop. It was very slow so a little boring. I'm just heading off to meditation so I might say goodnight to you now. Take care hun. Xxxx

evening @Sans911
sounds like an easy going day. enjoy your meditation xo

evening @Snowie
how are you going?
im just watching young sheldon and then a new episode of bbt is on so will watch that tonight too