My special place

Hi all,

Sorry I haven't checked in for awhile but a lot has happened.

I was in hospital for about two weeks. It started of going well but I was assigned a psychiatrist who I didn't agree with the approach he was taking with me. I tired to speak to him about this and so did my husband, but unfortunately I felt like he wasn't listening to where I was coming from.

I tired to make the best of it whilst in hospital and attended groups, still saw the psychiatrist, had some med changes and meet some really nice people in there.

My SH and SI got worse and near the end of my hospital stay I ended up trying to take my own life. I was found and taken to another hospital where I stayed for awhile and sent home.

I am home now but not sure for how long. My normal psychiatrist wants me to go back into hospital but I am not sure that that is the best answer to this. The CATT team is in contact with me daily and next week I have appointments set up with my psychologist and my psychiartrist. I also have no control over my meds anymore and only have daily access to them.

My SH and SI are still really high and I feel I have little control over myself at the moment. I am taking it hour by hour for the moment.

I really don't know what is going to happen from here on forward as I feel all the hope I used to have has vanished and dissapeared from my sight.

I'm sorry this is such a negative post but I don't really know how else to explain it.

I hope you are all ok. I haven't been able to keep up with what is happening in your lives which I feel bad about. Hopefully in the next few days I can catch up a llittle.

@outlander @TAB @Sans911 @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope and whoever else is reading this.

oh @Snowie im really glad to hear from you but im so sorry about whats happened. Big big hugs and baby steps

Thanks @outlander @TAB

Oh Hon that all sounds so hard to deal with. I am so glad you were found @Snowie We all here love and care for you very much. I am angry fr you about this psychiatrist though - there is a real failure in the system sometimes when the patient is not listended to - grrr.

I am super pleased you only have daily access to meds and seeing both your psych and pdoc this week. They both know you very well and can hopefully help you through this. Going back to hospital is ultimately your choice Hon but if your pdoc thinks you should go back then that is something you need to decide on. Whatever keeps you safe right now is important - we want you around and will hold onto hope for you. Much love and huge hugs coming your way ...and as much support as you need

Thanks @Zoe7 I am finding it very hard to find things to grasp onto at the moment, to find any light or goodness in my day. The things that normally keep me going I feel like are well outside of my grasp.

I hope you are going ok.

I know that feeling well @Snowie Just keep getting through hour by hour and day by day until you see you psych and pdoc Hon - and lean on us here as much as you need. It is definitely not easy but you have your family, your beautiful Izzy and us here - we got you sweetheart