My special place

Had psych appointment yesterday and H decided he wanted to come with me. To say it went bad is an understatement. He was in there for half of the session. Psych told him that how much I communicate to him needs to come from me and that he is here to support me not him. Well he left after that and I got half a session with my psych.

H was so pissed off with the psych afterwards and seems to be so pissed off with me too. I am trying to communicate with him but find it so hard to tell him things. H is not in a good way now and I feel like it is all my fault. If I wasn't so f**ked up then he would not have to worry about me. I feel like running away and never coming back.

I can't deal with H being this way and everything I am going through. Something has to give and I'm afraid I am on a downward spiral. My thoughts are scaring me and I don't know what to do about them anymore.

Hey @Snowie That is a difficult position for you to be in Hon but quite frankly your hubby is acting like a child. He needs to take a step back and actually hear what you need rather than pushing for what HE wants. It certainly is not helping you at all. Your time with the psych is important for you - maybe it is time for hubby to make his own appointment if he has things he needs to talk about.

Hearing you @Snowie 💜💜💜

Can you take a “time out” and stay elsewhere for some respite from this home situation ? Hubby may need to be brought to the understanding that he is over-riding your coping ability. As a carer he may be in a bit of burnout, but this is not your fault ..... it’s the fault of the person who harmed you.

This is the point in time when you need to step up your self care and make it all about you. Reach out to support services and let them advocate for you ..... hubby needs to keep hearing that you can only share when and as you are able to, and he is currently adding to the problem - not supporting you which is supposed to be his role.

Hugs n hugs Hon. Hold to your boundaries, and call in reinforcements.

💐😔💕

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @outlander

I can't take a timeout, I can't do that to the kids, its not fair on them.

H says everything he has read and people he has talked to think I should be opening up more to him. I just can't do it. So now he is so blunt with me.

He just got home before and went straight out again to a freinds house.

I don't want to do this anymore

Right now you are the priority @Snowie The kids will be okay if you have a couple of days away from them and your hubby will need to step up and look after them rather than going out and leaving you alone with everything falling at your feet. It is time for him to hear the bluntness of how it is from you - and for you to tell him what you need. It will be a really tough converstion but he is not helping with his actions and if he really wants to be there for you then he needs to actually listen to you.

Here for you Hon and you have your supports that you can reach out to as wel - as @Faith-and-Hope has said already - use them - it is times like these that you really need that additional support.

Thanks @Zoe7 I feel so alone in all of this.

I can't stop the thoughts tonight, they have over taken everything

I think that is quite natural in the situation you are in Hon - you are not receiving the support from hubby that you need and he is turning it all around onto himself - that is a super hard place to be in @Snowie I acknowledge that this is all hard for him too but you need to be your priority - you cannot hold both of you up - it is hard enough dealing with yourself. Tonight it is super important that you do as much self-care as you can - and try to get some of those thoughts under control ...write them here if you need to get them out - here with you Hon

I feel like my needs don't matter. I ask H how he is and he says not good. I don't know how to respond to that.

I can't do anything right lately

I might as well not be here