My special place

How are you coping with it all @Snowie?

Not that well @Zoe7

I have so many thoughts in my head and have lost control. I am finding it hard to be on here atm, I have no strength left to care.

I understand @Snowie But it is great that you are trying. It is so hard to be where you are right now Hon - so don't beat yourself up for not being able to be here much - you need to use all the energy you have just to get through hour by hour. This appointment with your pdoc can't come soon enough for you

I know you understand @Zoe7. I just want it to all end.

I get that as you know so well Hon - it is torture having all these med changes and then a new one not working - it makes it so much harder when a new one makes us feel even worse and then to stop them altogether and have to wait longer is excruciating @Snowie

I often wonder how I got through that myself Hon but it really was a matter of leaning on people here and letting them help me get through hour by hour - you know you have the support here to help you in any way we can.

I just can't keep doing this @Zoe7. The thought of the unknown. I know I have to get off this med but the thought of going through this again makes my SI thoughts go into overdrive.

I know you feel like you can't keep doing this Hon but we have seen your strength through this before @Snowie and have the belief in you that you can do it now too. It is super hard - there are no words that I can say that will make it any easier for you - it just plaiin sucks!

I know at times like these distractions are not even on the radar - it is too hard to concentrate when your thoughts are all over the place. I really do feel for you Hon - it is a horrible place to be sitting but you can get through this - try to let each moment pass and simply get to the next minute - and I'll hel you ride the waves as best I can

Hi @Snowie, it's fantastic that you're here connecting with the community. I also sent you an email as a reminder about the other services that might be helpful for you this afternoon. I know that you know them, but sometimes we need a reminder when we feel this low.

I try to keep telling myself that I just need to last till next Wed. But the unknown after that scares me. I know what the pdoc will want to do and I guess it is probably for the best, but I hate that it has come to this again.

@Zoe7

Going back into hospital is the last thing you wanted Hon but it may need to be the place for you to get started on whatever new med he gives you. I know that you wish that it hadn't come to this - and we all wish that for you @Snowie but we also want you to be safe and here with us - you are so important to so many people and we all want you to be able to find something that will hel you. It just sucks so much that it is taking so long - you know I get how frustrating that is.