My special place

That is annoying then @Snowie - it is so hard to find a psych that you feel comfortable with but if this new one was the same then it may be worthwhile. It took me more than one whole miodul to feel comfortable enough to talk in DBT and I am just starting to be able to talk with my pdoc about some things - there have been moments before when I have opened up a bit more to her but it has been extremely difficult. I know DBT will help in the long run but for now I still feel too vulnerable and a bit lost for it to be of a lot of benefit ....but as my pdoc said - it is not usually to the second round of doing the course that it is really taken in and the skills can be used best. It is hard to use the skills when surviving is all that is on the agenda - I know you get this sooo much!

@Zoe7yes I do get that. Just before I went into hospital I went to an intro session on DBT. Only went for a couple of hours. Sat up the back by myself and stayed silent. Probably something you would have done too. Talking in a group seems super hard to do. Can't even do it in group sessions in here unless asked a specific question and I always have the choice to pass which I do often.

Hmmm, maybe we are alike a bit!

I do so hope with all of my heart that this DBT course helps you. You deserve for things to go "your way" and start seeing some of that light again. When I first "met" you on here work wasn't even an option and now it is at least getting talked about. Super proud of you hun

awww @Snowie thanks Hon - means the world coming from you

I know there is still a very long road ahead but just thinking that work is an option again is helping. I do really miss the kids and teaching. Do you think you will ever get back to work? I know it probably doesn't seem like it right now but sometime in the future?

@Zoe7I am hoping to get back to work. I know with my situation that it will never be where I was, however I do love teaching, do miss it and hope to one day. I am not sure when that day is but I think we have to keep that hope going. Without the "hope" of getting back to work, then I think why I am fighting to try and get better. Yes it is for myself too, but I think the only way we continue to fight is to have something to fight for.

Totally agree @Snowie - work has been so much of my life that I honestly feel very lost without it... but I also know I can't go back to what I used to do - I worked nesrly 20 hours a day and mostly 7 days a week - I rarely slept because I had constant flashbacks or nightmares and so would need to get by on just a few hours a night. Work was what kept me going as if I was working then my mind had less time to 'think'. I needed to be occupied all the time and that meant I had no down time or time for anything outside of work. It wasn't sustainable and I can see I was unwell for some time before I got really sick with the flu - looking back now it was probably a couple of years that I was so unwell but I kept going - Toby and Cat certainly helped with that coming home to them everyday.

My meds are kicking in early tonight @Snowie so I better go before I face-plant. I hope your visit from your family is good for you tomorrow. Let me know how it goes - as always ... will be thinking of you Hon. I hope you get some sleep tonight - hugs and hugs

@Zoe7it sounds like the flu helped you in a strange way. Your bodies way of telling you that you needed your rest.

Goodnight my sweet @Zoe7. it has been so nice to just chat with you tonight. Thank you for the company. It has been the nicest night for some time.

Sleep well butterfly

Nothing wrong with the occasional iPad face-plant I say ..... 😏

Sending you love and hugs for today @Snowie

Hehe @Faith-and-Hope nothing like a good iPad faceplate 😁😁😁