My special place

Hi @tyme

I have spoken to Dementia Australia about mum and they've had a few suggestions that I've tried.

Unfortunately Dementia can profoundly change someone's personality. As their dementia worsens, so can their behaviour.

Mum was always very demanding and opinionated, it is just a lot more obvious now. Her irritability has increased a lot too.

She will say things to me not caring about how it will affect me. Just today she told me I don't care about her.

I try not to take it to heart, but it is very hard not to.

Good afternoon @AuntGlow

At the moment I'm just trying not to look too far ahead. Thats when I can get overwhelmed. Today I'm just taking it hour by hour.

It will be good when my psych is back. I'm not sure how the first session will go. There is a lot that has happened. Somehow I don't think an hour will be enough 🤷‍♀️

I haven't told H about pdoc wanting to increase the ECT. I know he will say that's ok, but I also know it will affect his work schedule. I'd hate for him to have to work weekends in order to catch up.

It really depends on the day. Sometimes I can do things for myself. I do jigsaws a lot or will do some gardening, always washing to do with two teenagers!, spend time outside with the dog, journal, cook. Thats normally on a good day. Other days everything feels like such a chore. Some days I struggle to do anything for myself, struggle even to make it out of bed. I guess everyone has both good and bad days.

I just wrote about what's happening

Just disappeared

Doesn't matter

Everything matters @Snowie

💜💜💜💜💜

@Eve7 💕💕

How has your day been?

It’s been ok @Snowie I had breakfast with the girls, did a load of washing and some uni work.

What have you been up to?

Your breakfast dates sound so nice @Eve7 I'm glad you have a nice group of friends that you can get together with.

I hope your uni work is going ok.

Day has been chaotic. Took mum to gp, took her to Aldi, chemist. Took her back home, fixed a few things for her, had a coffee with her and finally left to do a few things I needed done.

You’ve been really busy today @Snowie

I do have a good group of friends and we have a good laugh together. One friend has terminal cancer which is ever so sad.

Busy is probably good @Eve7 Stops me thinking about things. Just exhausts me.

Head is everywhere now.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend hon. That must be really sad. Very hard when they can't do anything to help. Hopefully she can still come out for your catch ups.

No response needed, just venting

See my psych tomorrow for the first time since mid Dec. She is finally back from leave.

Worried about what she will ask me. Do I be honest. If so, what are the consequences. I know she has a duty of care. Also an hour doesn't seem long enough to fit in over 7 weeks worth of things that have happened.

My head feels like its got all these tabs open. I can't close them down. I can't quieten them. They are just getting stronger. They are consuming me.

Mum had gp today. Got really upset, couldn't answer questions. Ended up doing most of the talking. She is having these outbursts. Never does them if H is with me, only by myself. I know she's not coping, I know how hard it must be for her, but I shouldn't have to be the punching bag. I don't know how much longer I can cope with it. No one has the answers. Will she get worse, how will it progress, when will she forget us.

MIL not good again. Had gp today. Got again in 2 days. If no improvement then back in.

I just want to sleep.