My special place

Thanks @Eve7

Just pi**ed of at the world. The reasons just seem to pile up too.

Have you got much on tomorrow?

Will say goodnight @Eve7

Too much weight on my shoulders, going to have a shower and head to bed.

Goodluck with pdoc tomorrow

Will talk again soon

Thanks for the company

Good night @Snowie I hope you sleep well.😴

Finally got some good news this morning.

There is an opening coming up in the Retirement Home that mum wants to go to. Looks like it might be within the next few weeks. I've spoken to her about it and she seems to be having mixed emotions about it. I think that is probably normal and told her so. She knows if she doesn't like it that she can always leave. Permanent doesn't mean it has to be forever.

A lot to organise in the next few weeks but hopefully this is for the best.

At least I can give my pdoc some good news when I speak to him today.

That is such wonderful news @Snowie for both you and your mum. I hope she takes up the offer but I can understand her being nervous. It’s a huge step.

I hope your appointment goes well 💜

Thanks @Eve7

I broke down with my pdoc. I think his only every seen me cry about 3 times.

Normally I just internalise everything.

We spoke about what happened the other day. He wants me to increase my ECT visits or be admitted and have more. I know they say to put 'you' first, but thats hard when someone is relying on you 100%.

I'm trying to get those bad thoughts out of my head

I’m glad you felt safe enough with pdoc to be real @Snowie and I hope you are able to make the right decision for you. It’s hard when people rely on us so much but you are very important. 🩵

I've had my pdoc for a long time now @Eve7

I think that helps too.

So had ECT this morning. The same questions every time, the same lies. When they start the sentence with "no to SI and SH thoughts", it doesn't exactly help open up.

Due again in another 4 weeks.

Spent about 2 hrs filling out forms for mum so she can move. All I can say is that the My Gov website and Centrelink website are useless. Even when trying to get help the person on the other end didn't know what to do. Finally got the forms filled out. Am hoping that is it. It just exhausts me. Looks like it will happen next Wednesday. Well we will start then. Guessing it will take a few days to move everything in.

No more brain power left. Don't think it will be a late night.

hey @Snowie! it's nice to see you around.

ooft yep, i agree with you! i remember learning in my psych class about leading questions and how it can influence your responses. i'm surprised that they still continue to ask in that way, i can see how it adds that extra barrier to opening up. i hope you're able to open up soon, it's okay to 'yes' even though it feels uncomfy.

i hear youuu it's frustrating to navigate those sort of sites!! glad you got it filled out, and i hope you get to rest up now!! sending you some extra strength for the weekend 💙