My special place

Thanks @AuntGlow

Just gotten into bed and dog curled up next to me. For a small dog she takes up a lot of room.

Good night

good night @Eve7 I hope your pdoc appt. goes ok tomorrow

I hope everything goes okay for you @Snowie . I know you have been concerned about your mum, and I can see there are some big things you have to juggle.

So I'm guessing your kids are mostly independent? It doesn't feel like that long ago that they needed you to take them everywhere! You'd have to hop off the forums to drive them here there and everywhere!

@tyme my eldest is independent, she is 19 almost 20.

My son is 17. Have about 3 months until he can get his license (live in VIC) so still ferrying him around to school and work.

Even when I think things can't get any worse, it hits me right in the face.

Got an email today, there are no vacancies where mum wants to go so have to wait for an opening. They couldn't give me a time frame of course. I haven't told her yet.

MIL not going great. Out of hospital but looks like she might have to go back in for more tests.

My nephew's 18th Birthday dinner Sat night. Have to see my brother for the first time in about 4-5 years. Really not sure how I'll cope.

In the last hour I found out that a family friend passed away. She had heart problems and they didn't think she would make it. Known her since I was born. Will have to go to that funeral and take mum. Mum's not taking the news well.

On top of that I had my pdoc today. I told him what I did. Says I have to keep having ect for now and to use my SP more. He brought up the H word.

I really don't know how much more I can take. I just want to leave it all behind, to hide, to disappear, to ignore everyone and everything. There's only one way I can block it all out.

Hey @Snowie

That's a lot to be dealing with all at once, and I'd imagine it would all be feeling really overwhelming right now. It's understandable in these times of overwhelm to just want to escape and to block it all out, I get that feeling, but I do just want to check on whether you're feeling safe with this feeling right now?

No not really @Ru-bee but I'm trying to use my SP. Also H is home so that will help.

I appreciate your honesty @Snowie

Good on you for using your safety plan, is there anything we can do to help support you with this?

No, not really @Ru-bee

Just going to hang around on here for awhile.

Both kids at work, so decided to have ice cream for dinner!!

Oooh @Snowie that sounds yum, what flavour ice cream?

I almost had anzac biscuits for dinner yesterday because I kept snacking on them while cooking. In the end I only had room for a small portion of my actual dinner but I had no regrets