My special place

I get that often @Snowie cant find the right words for all the mess that is inside

Totally get that @Snowie words seem so insufficient sometimes, when the feelings seem so much bigger than what any word can capture.

That's usually when I turn to non-linguistic forms of expression! Dancing is my go-to, but you can do singing and art (finger painting always allowed and encouraged 😋) and make something or break something... Like this one time I was so upset I err, shredded a pair of PJ pants entirely by hand... 😅

@Bow 💗

@Jynx It's good that you have found ways to express yourself when words don't do it.

I'm not very artistic at all. Sometimes it helps if I write things down, but normally throw them out. Scared that someone would find them and read them.

I don't think I could repeat any of that on here.

@Snowie I reckon that's actually a legitimately good idea sometimes!! Like so I've started doing my journalling via the voice memo app, and some of them are definitely worth a re-listen but the majority I never touch again or delete. It's cos for me, it's about getting it OUT, not continuing to dwell on it. So writing a bunch of stuff down then chucking it away can be very cathartic!! Or you can be like me and try to burn them all in a metal waste paper basket, not realise the bin had a plastic coating, and choke on some fumes.... 🤣

Hiya @Bow how you going hun?

Yeah not ok @Jynx

@Jynx I never read back what I have written. I normally write in my journal when my thoughts are dark and things aren't going well. I don't think reading back would help at all.

I've written some things to my psych but haven't sent it yet. Not sure if I will. It's not as if it would help me see her any sooner.

Aww hugs @Bow here for you!! Crappy crap day today ay - what you up to? Got some crafty bits to keep you occupied?

@Snowie I think the only time reading or listening back has been helpful for me is when I am far away from it emotionally and I'm listening as a point of reflection on my progress. But that's rare for me to do - esp cos I dislike hearing my own voice played back to me hahaha.

Mm maybe come back to it and decide to send later? Might not make the appt happen quicker but I imagine your psych would appreciate the insights.

I've never recorded myself @Jynx I think I would hate the sound of my voice too.

I don't know what my psych would think. I'm worried she would call someone on me.

@Snowie Just a thought - could you include in the email some of the things you have to help you stay safe? Sorta like... reassuring the psych that yes things are bad but you are aware of it and doing what you can to ensure you don't get to crisis point?

I'd let her know I'm trying @Jynx I hope that would be enough.

Sometimes I think why do I bother going private too. Yes you can pick your psych and pdoc, but does it really give you more support. It feels like it just comes down to money.

How are you meant to be heard amongst all the others. The only times I got more support is when my actions were considered extreme. (Yes trying to say it in the best way to not trigger others)