My special place

not going great. I can't take my night meds or my prn which would normally help.

I've been trying to distract myself but I've got so much in my head at the moment

@Kuu

Hello Snowie,

When I have trouble with negative thoughts of a night..I put my phone and earphones in and listen to a instrumental, I select one instrument and follow it right through the song...it keeps my mind thinking and listening to the instrument, your mind can only have one thought at a time...your thinking on the instrument and not your negative thoughts...Maybe it's worth a try..

Good luck Snowie..

Thanks @Tigga321

I do that with Richard Clayderman piano music @Tigga321 @Snowie ...... it has a lot of other instruments in it as well, and now that you have mentioned it @Tigga321, when there is a break in the piano playing, suddenly the violins take my attention, or the flute, or whatever other instrument has dominance at the time .....

Morning to you both, @outlander, and anyone else around .....

👋💕

Afternoon

M is home now. Had to take D to a game this morning, then straight to go pick my mum up. So that took a good 2.5 hours.Have had no sleep and very sore

Picked her up and went through Maccas drive through b/c I needed a coffee and something to eat. Hadn't had anything all day and D needed lunch. Normally we stay away from those places. The thanks I get is being told by M that I should have brought something healthy for lunch from home

I can't win, nothing is ever good enough.

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope. I just didn't say anything, could not be bothered. I just hate that I let her get to me so much. By know I should be able to brush to off, but I cannot. Just makes me feel like s**t

I understand @Snowie .....

Perfectionism and fault-finding are part of our bigger picture, and part of what got triggered in mr.f&h ..... and then I find it’s part of a personality disorder being carried forward genetically ..... supported and intensified by our circumstances ....

Perfectionism is not what it sounds like ..... you can joyfully pursue interests and achievements ..... that is just applying yourself, or even a joyful pursuit of excelling in something. Perfectionism is different. It’s ruled by fear and criticism, and usually misses its goals cos it’s so bound up in rules and conditions that become impossible to satisfy .....

That is what you are witnessing in M. Part of freeing yourself from it is recognising that it is their problem .... their issue ..... and you don’t have to either accept it or wear it yourself, for yourself. I got used to saying, “Thank you for offering your advice. I will think about it ....” and, “I appreciate that that is how you feel. I’m not sure I agree, but that’s okay ..... we’re all different.”

If you practice this you will start to feel more empowered, even if you never actually say it out loud .... just thinking it in your head starts to turn that feeling-like-s**t tide. It took me a while to get free of it .... but I also didn’t grow up with it .... I married into it.

Thanks for the reply @Faith-and-Hope. I find her to be such a hypocrite too.

I like those phases that you have used. I am going to write them down and at least say them to myself