My special place

I'm hearing you @Snowie .

I have to admit that it wasn't all that long ago that I thought along the same lines.

I can't say WHEN things will change, but it just did - for me.

I always tell people that I'm no better than anyone else.

If something's not working, make that little change to better yourself. Whatever it may be... then just keep tweaking things until you get to the point where you can reflect and say, "Wow, something's changed"

Sometimes, we are actually making progress but we don't realise it.

Thanks @tyme

I'm happy to hear that things changed for you.

Right now I just feel like I'm in survival mode. I know that it is ok, that we all feel this way at times.

But telling myself it won't last is hard.

I made it from the bed to the couch today. Prn are helping.

Hot here, about 34, air con on.

hey @Snowie glad to hear you made to the couch today! i'm guessing the heat doesn't make it easier to move about? thank goodness for air con!! got any plans for this weekend?

I'm done

I'm not a good enough daughter.

"I know you do so much for me, but you don't treat me like family at all. I'm not part of this family. The kids don't even talk to me any more. I hate asking for help because it's like such a burden on you. You never invite me up for tea anymore. I know you do a lot for me but you don't make me feel comfortable. You will just tell me to go and talk to someone but that won't help at all"

I don't even feel safe in my own house.

I'm done.

oh @Snowie i can hear how frustrating and exhausting this is for you to hear from her. i honestly relate to this a lot, my mum talks to me in a very similar way. please know that her words do NOT reflect your worth. from what she's mentioned, it's clear that she's aware of the distance being created yet she fails to acknowledge her part in causing that distance and instead puts it on you. i know words can be painful but you know that phrase action speaks louder than words? your action of looking after her, taking her to appointments, etc., shows how amazing of a daughter you are. and your mum can't take that away from you, even if she tries with her words.
you deserve to feel safe in your own home, is there anyway you can get some space from your mum to self-soothe? maybe even give SCBS a ring if you're feeling unsafe?
hugs to you, i'm sitting with you 💜

I am just over it @rav3n

It's never enough.

She lives we us rent free, does not pay for a thing. It's been like that for the last 15 years.

But I still don't do enough. Nothing is ever good enough.

My sh is already high, Ive maxed out my prn, Im on hold

Do you think she'll be better off in a home @Snowie ? It sounds like a lot of stress for you when you already have your own stressors to deal with.

@tyme she can't afford a private home and the only public one near us has a waiting list.

She only has her pension, nothing else. She can't afford anywhere else.

I've spoken to someone. I'm just going to go to bed before I do something I shouldn't.

Thanks @tyme @rav3n

@Snowie , @tyme

With my mum she paid her pension to stay in the aged care part of our local hospital which was great for us and her xxxx

that does make it tricky! fingers crossed the public home becomes accessible soon. good night @Snowie hoping this weekend is brighter for you 💗