My special place

Top job @Snowie! I know those relatively simple every day tasks can be a huge effort for some of us. So well done.

whatcha up to for the rest of the afternoon?

Not much on for this afternoon @Bow

Probably some more christmas shopping from the comfort of my couch!

Have you got any plans? How are you going?

I’ve done pretty much zero Christmas shopping @Snowie ! Normally I am really organized.

I don’t have any idea about what to do with Christmas gifts this year. I had my niece to buy for… actually I think I’m just giving mum some money to put towards a trampoline.
don’t know what to do for gifts for my D. I don’t want to take many overseas with us. But I need to have something for her. Santa usually gives one small gift, so need to take that. Think we will leave some at home for when we get back. I don’t know!

you got much more shopping to do?

going to do some sewing once I’ve finished on the treadmill.
feeling all sorts of things. But vulnerable and raw. Tired and lethargic today too. Flat.

Good job @Snowie 👍♥️

👋💕 @Ru-bee

Had an okay sleep. Heading east today. Will prob sleep on the plane.

Had ECT yesterday morning. Meant to have one more before Christmas. Don't know what is happening after that, if the sessions are continuing or if I'm taking a break. Guess it is something I need to discuss with pdoc.

Big festival happening this weekend in our little town. The place has been inundated with people. They have a big market on for the weekend and a carnival with lots of rides, so went and had a look around. Did pretty good considering how many people were there. Managed to do some xmas shopping!

Well the last 48 hours have been eventful.

Had D sick Saturday night. Spoke to nurse on call and a Dr at about 1:30am. Was going to call an ambulance but the pain finally seemed to lessen a bit. Managed a bit of sleep.

Mum went down the street Sat and side swiped a car. No real damage to either car so at least that was good. There was a festival happening so more cars around than normal, so hoping that next time she goes down it will be quieter. Ended up taking her down the street today. She says she's not sure if she will drive again. Trying to come to terms just how much that will affect me too. So much more placed on my shoulders.

She has a hairdressers appt. tomorrow morning. I can't take her b/c I have a psych appt. Luckily D can take her and pick her up. If not I would have had to cancel. Is this the point where it starts to affect my appointments and my MH.

Already Sunday and next Wed are taken up with driving to places, hanging around, and taking her home.

Then on Sunday we went and looked at the house. Almost finished building, just a few more touches to go. Got into trouble as I wasn't around when she needed me. I feel like I can't go anywhere now without checking with her first. It just always seems that she needs me when I have an appt.

I just feel overwhelmed with life. Time out just doesn't seem to exist anymore.

Thanks if you got this far. Just needing to get some things out.

That is a lot to happen in 28 hours @Snowie!

I'm glad you're able to let it out here, it sounds as though it's been stressful and I can hear how concerning your mum's bingle was because of the roll on affect it may have on her replying on you even more. I'm wondering if it's possible to set some ground rules with her that are non-negotiable, which states that unless it is an emergency your MH appointments take precedent?

Your mum can be unhappy, but you need to be able to put yourself first in these times. No one can just give endlessly

Thanks @Ru-bee

I'm so torn. I don't want her to drive and have an accident and then hurt herself or someone else, but at the same time it gives her that bit of independence. The thought of that being taken away would have to be devastating. Even though she was just driving local, it was still something.

I know that there would have to be services that at least can have someone drive her to her appointments and to the street. I just have to find out where we can access them.

I've already had to change an appt. with my pdoc for next Wed as I have to take mum to her appt.

Hello and hugs @Snowie

Sending you understanding hugs as both my mum's had to both come to relize they can not drive anymore xx

Went and saw my psych this morning. Went in feeling loaded with so much. Came out feeling a little better so that was at least something.

It was such a nice day that we went for a walk during the session. I still had a chance to say what I needed, but it was a different setting so that even helped a little.

We found a new app. that actually might help me when I have flashbacks/dissociate. Not sure if I can share the name on here.

Spoke about mum and the issues there. Also spoke about how much pressure I have been under and how Christmas is just a huge trigger for me. Seeing everything associated with xmas can be overwhelming. If it was just me, I think I would hide from the world, but for my family, especially my kids, I want it to be a happy/memorable time for years to come.

So this afternoon I am trying just to chill to calm my brain down a bit. Seems a lot needs to be processed and it can only handle one thing at a time at the moment.