My special place

@Snowie 💛💛☀️☀️

Thanks @outlander

Thanks @Maggie, how are you today?

Thanks @Sans911, big squishy hugs back to you!

@Snowie Not a good one for me today, small steps, hard when you want to sprint ahead of yourself.

@Maggieplease take care of you hun. It is hard when we want to sprint but sometimes small steps is all we can do. Please remember it is in the right direction still.

Starting to feel a bit more anxiety tonight.

Have got my pdoc tomorrow afternoon. Someone from work cover is coming to the first half of the appointment. I am starting to stress a bit.

I am anxious that the pdoc will say I am ok to try and start maybe trying a few hours of work each week. I am scared that this will set me back. There was something in the media the other day very close to home that triggered me and I know I need to mention it.

I am also anxious that the pdoc will say that I am not fit for work ans still need more time and that starting work again is going to be detrimental to my recovery.

Does this make any sense? I am worried about the exact opposite thing happening. This is too confusing for even me.

@Snowietry to be as honest with your pdoc as you can and with workcover as well. if you dont feel ready as yet would you be comfortable in saying that your not ready yet and would like to learn skills to cope first?

how do you actually feel about going back to work? is that something you think you could manage even as a casual?

im not sure how workcover runs but you should still be able to have some sort of say dont you?

I get it @Snowie what you think will happen and what may happen are on opposing sides but the reality is you can't even decide in your own mind what you want or need. I am in a similar boat. I am going 'out of my mind' not being able to work and am constantly hoping my pdoc says let's try to get you back to work sooner but then she will say I am not ready yet - it becomes too much to think about.

It makes sense @Snowie. When we are at this low and unstable point everything in the future is anxiety provoking. Try to distract a bit and let the session flow as it should. Having said that I can understand how having someone from work cover is increasing the anxiety. I’ve not gone through it but have read from others on here.

i wanted to share that I took a leaf from your book last night. When you asked your husband to come home it resonated with me. For the first time ever I finally got up the courage to ask my son for help. When I’m feeling suicidal everything is heightened to unbearable levels, especially shame that I’ve gone down and not coping before. One of the things that keeps driving it is my dog. I look at him and just feel so much guilt and shame. He won’t leave my side and has separation anxiety from me. So on the back of your courage at nearly midnight I asked him to help me and give me space from my dog which he did. A small thing but it helped me to slow down the suicidal thinking and be a little less heightened with everything. It only took it down a notch but enough for me to get through. I find asking others for help creates so much shame as well. I guess not asking though can have much larger implications for our families.

Here with you tonight too 💜🤗