My special place

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@tyme wrote:

Hey @NatureLover , didn't catch the sleep I wanted. But that's okay. Tonight must be the night. I think I've got a migraine because I've hardly slept the last few nights. But as I said, I'm sure my body will catch up. I'm not too concerned.

I'm glad you see you.

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@tyme Am sorry to hear. How was your sleep last night? 🤞

You too 🙂

@Snowie I can totally understand the guilt at "putting people out" because of your MI. I try not to let my MIs affect other people too.

It's not blabber, it's updates on how you're doing, which we want because we care about you.

I'm so glad your med change has gone OK 🙂

Hi @NatureLover @creative_writer @Shaz51 @tyme and anyone else around. Hoping your day is going well 💕💕

Today has been a big day. Spent most of it out at the shops or cleaning/washing. Was very overwhelming and way too many people around for my liking. Getting used to those crowds again is going to take awhile.

Got my next ECT session booked in for next week but will have to change it. H is away and I have no one else to take me. It's not fair on others too, putting them out because of me.

H keeps asking me if I'm ok. All I can say is yes. I don't want to disappoint him. I really don't know how I feel. Yes I feel better then when I went in. But is it normal to have some sort of dip? How have others felt after a week when they have been discharged?

Up late tonight as I have to pick S up from work. It's about time I pull my weight around here now.

Hey @Snowie , I think there is always a bit of a dip after an admission. It's such an unreal environment in hospital that when we come home and see everything is still the same our confidence can take a bit of a battering. It just has to be step by step and continually saying to ourselves "I'm on the path to recovery now". It's really hard to change our mindset but at the end of the day I don't think anyone else can do it for us.

Walking with you my friend.

Thanks for responding @Eve7. It was weird going back there for ECT as an outpatient and seeing people that I had met as an inpatient still there. Also seeing some of the nurses there again.

I think I am just scared it will all fall apart again, like it has in the past. Yes it does help for the present, but there always seems like a but.

I am trying to think positively, I know I am better then when I went in, I know that there has been an improvement, I know that I am more involved in my family, I know that they are happy to have me home. Hopefully the maintenance ECT helps in this process too.

I think you are much better than you were @Snowie but you there will always be "peaks and troughs" and it's how we handle those changes that matters in our growth. If we have one bad day it's so easy to think we've hit rock bottom again and soon enough we do. When I stopped on my way home last night I just thought "why bother"? The thoughts were there and I Quickly went into a dark place but somehow I was able to go through a drive through and get a diet coke...and continue driving home safely.

It's hard hun but we are here to support each other on this road.

Thanks @Eve7 @creative_writer

I think I just have to remember how far I have come in the last 5 weeks and that ups and downs are just part of the journey. It really is a marathon, not a sprint.

Healing does hurt at time @creative_writer, I can relate to that so much. It doesn't mean we give up, it just makes us work even harder.

@Eve7 I'm glad you were able to come out the other side last night. It is hard in those down times, but it shows great strength by you that you regrouped and continued on.