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Something’s not right

My special place

SnowieSenior Contributor

My special place

Well yesterday certainly threw everything off track. But thanks to some very thoughtful and kind people I was able to get threw it and continue.

I cannot say a lot about what happened as I am sure you all understand but need this support in place.

Things WILL be ok, just a lot to work out.

Psych visit yesterday sorted out some of the things and more things will be happening early next week.

I am sorry if I put anyone through any despair, but unfortunately what happened yesterday morning had to be done.

Thank you all for your continued support.

@outlander@Sans911@Former-Member@Bubbles3@Bunniekins@Shaz51@CheerBear@Phoenix_Rising@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member@Zoe7@Queenie@Former-Member

Brain still not functioning anyone so sorry if I missed anyone

for @Phoenix_Rising as I know how much you don't like love hearts!!!

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In response to: My special place

NatureLoverSenior Contributor

Re: My special place

I'm glad your psych wants to slow down the EMDR @Snowie ...hopefully that relieves some pressure on you.

Hoping that today is a gentler day for you...sending hugs 💙

In response to: Re: My special place

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: My special place

Sending good wises @Snowie

In response to: Re: My special place

tymeModerator

Re: My special place

How are you @Snowie ?

How's everyone else @Captain24 @NatureLover @creative_writer @Bow ?

I'm reading that a lot of you have to face the concept of "What do I tell people"?

I too have faced this in the past. With my avoidant personality, I didn't say anything much to people. But that's because my situation enabled that. I recognise that for those to live with others, that's not very easy.

In response to: Re: My special place

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: My special place

Yeah it’s hard @tyme. If I lived away, I just wouldn’t say anything as it’s my business not everyone else’s. But I can’t get away with that.

In response to: Re: My special place

SnowieSenior Contributor

Re: My special place

Hi @tyme

Thanks for asking. Today has been a difficult day. I'm trying not to rely on prn too heavily but have done it again today. The days are blurring together and I am struggling to keep up with life.

My pdoc is pushing for an admission to review meds and have ect. Unfortunately I have to agree with him. It's not something I want.

My psych didn't say much about it but we did clear up a few things. My psych and pdoc spoke last week for the first time in months.

It will just be a matter of time of when the doctor can fit me in, if they have a bed free, work cover approval and an upcoming appt. next Thursday for my mums dementia. My contact at work cover has left yet again so they have to assign me to someone new. I think that will probably delay things too. It happens far to recently.

My husband knows but will have to sit down and let my kids and mum know. Those will be difficult conversations.

In response to: Re: My special place

creative_writerSenior Contributor

Re: My special place

@tyme, I’ve been sick. How are you?

I have wondered on multiple occasions whether I have avoidant personality disorder too. Close relationships scare me so much. I can’t convince myself why I am not better off alone. I rather be alone than hurt

In response to: Re: My special place

tymeModerator

Re: My special place

I'm sorry to hear you have been sick @creative_writer - again. I hope things improve for you in time to come.

Yeah, I avoid things a lot. Although that's my personality, as I've experienced more, I've realised that sometimes, I really need to get out of my own comfort zone. This takes time and effort to do. If I had the preference, I'd still keep to myself. But that's not always possible.

In response to: Re: My special place

creative_writerSenior Contributor

Re: My special place

@tyme, avoidant personality has resonated with me for so long, though I’ve never been diagnosed. I already have plenty of labels anyways, but it’s probably a cptsd response at the end of the day. Some people seek support, other withdraw. I am the later. I’ve had moments when I really struggled recently but have not been able to pick up the phone for a helpline, I hesitate. I’m not very good at communicating my needs. Sometimes I can’t even describe the chaos in my mind.

I’ve been diagnosed with social anxiety which I get. My social anxiety was sky rocketing on placement, I was well supported in the second one I got allocated to which sort of desensitised me a bit. I can handle shallow relationships but deeper ones scare me so much. I’ve tried time and time again to convince myself I don’t want relationships, it worked on some occasions and not so much during others.

Migraine is a bit better after dinner, though I think I have plenty of adrenaline rushing through my veins, I just hope I sleep tonight. Sleep deprivation can breed mixed episodes, I sure hope I’m not headings towards one. I thought I controlled it with PRN

In response to: Re: My special place

NatureLoverSenior Contributor

Re: My special place

@Snowie Thinking of you and hoping that today is gentler for you...

Also hoping those difficult conversations go better then you expect... 🤞

Sending care 💙

In response to: Re: My special place

NatureLoverSenior Contributor

Re: My special place

Hoping you were able to sleep and that you don't have a mixed episode @creative_writer ...

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