My special place

I love curries too @Snowie @Bow. Thai is my favourite.

I guess if I look hard enough I could find something @Snowie.

Id rather be on my own too @creative_writer. I hope you can get some rest.

I'm lucky that my kids will eat anything I serve them. They really are not picky. Makes cooking dinner all the more easy @creative_writer @Captain24 @Bow

I am going to sign off for the night. Having a hard time and think I'll just head to bed.

I hope you all have a good night.

Talk again soon 💜

Sorry to hear you've run out of one of your PRNs, @Snowie

Hope today is easier 🤞

I hope today is a little kinder to you @Snowie. Do you have any plans?

It's my own fault @NatureLover that I have run out. Now I have to ask H for more.

Saw my psych today @Captain24

It was a hard session with lots of things to talk about. She spoke about slowing down emdr so it doesn't put as much pressure on me. I agreed with that. I need the admission but at the same time I don't want to do it. I'm missing out on so many things with the kids that the guilt overrides everything. I am so ashamed .

Hey @Snowie.

Im glad your psych is slowing things down for you. Hopefully that will ease things for you a little.

I know it’s hard but if you don’t have the admission and things get much worse, where would you be? Would you still be here? What would you miss out on then? It’s a couple of weeks of their life which I’m sure they would rather see you getting help than not see you at all.

As hard as it is, I believe you are showing your kids that it’s ok to reach out for help when you need it and to accept it. Hopefully they never do but at least they know it is ok to ask for help when struggling. Maybe if we knew it was ok to struggle and reach out we wouldn’t be where we are today?

I still want to process my flashbacks and try to do EMDR, I just think things were moving too fast for my mind and body to keep up with them. I think that might make things a little easier for me.

My pdoc is thinking ECT too, so that would probably push my stay till 4 weeks. I'm not sure I can do that long. I have enough guilt going in as it is.

I can get day passes so they will be able to come and see me on the weekends if they are not working.

With what I have been doing, I know that I can't keep going on like I am. Something needs to change.

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@Captain24 wrote:

I know it’s hard but if you don’t have the admission and things get much worse, where would you be? Would you still be here? What would you miss out on then? It’s a couple of weeks of their life which I’m sure they would rather see you getting help than not see you at all.

As hard as it is, I believe you are showing your kids that it’s ok to reach out for help when you need it and to accept it. Hopefully they never do but at least they know it is ok to ask for help when struggling. Maybe if we knew it was ok to struggle and reach out we wouldn’t be where we are today?

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This is brilliant @Captain24 and I needed to hear it too. Thank you.