My special place

There's no place like home @Eve7 and your own bed.

I hope being home goes ok for you.

I never knew you could buy pumpkins in a tin.

Mm it can be super frustrating to be following the steps and still feeling like it's on top of you ay @Snowie. If it is feeling oppressive, is there anything you can do to shake things up, or out? The brain-body connection goes both ways, so doing something physical can help change the mental. I sometimes literally just do some star jumps, shake my limbs like a very silly goose, and some gentle stretches, can help me reset myself a little.

I went outside for a bit @Jynx to chase the dog around. I got up and cooked dinner for everyone. I did what they told me to do, yet those thoughts continue to haunt me. When is it enough? What keeps me here doesn't seem to come into my thoughts anymore. People always say to me 'think of your kids' but when that isn't even enough then why continue. Why can't I just be at peace? Dont worry, I am safe.

@Snowie Thanks for letting me know you're safe 💜

I do understand why folks cite family as a reason for living. I mean, it's a pretty good reason. In my experience, there's only so far that living for others can get you. If it keeps you tethered, fantastic. But over time, I needed to find the reasons to live that were living for me - like being in nature, getting amped up about a new video game, or working on a new craft project that has me caught up in hyper-focus mode. It took me a while but I got better at searching within for the things that would help me yank myself out of that dark place.

What are the things that give you life, give you energy, help you to feel a sense of joy, contentment, or purpose?

My kids do keep me here and do help me in being present @Jynx , yet there is that part of me that just wants to go. The plans are there.

For as long as my mental illness has been going on, it has always trying to get better for myself of course, but certainly for my family. To not hurt them or destroy their lives.

I don't know what gives me purpose or joy. I guess it is something that I need to discover, that I need to stop thinking about my family and start thinking of why I want to continue.

It can be a difficult journey for sure @Snowie but it's one I do not regret for even a moment. I hope you find your path through, and can embrace your own desires and passions in your journey of self discovery 😊

I'm glad you have found your path @Jynx

I guess by living in the moment I struggle to see that future for me. It just seems like I want to opt out. Tonight I can't see that far in front, it is just going minute by minute. I know that is all I can do for now. I guess that just has to be enough for now.

I just have to follow the plan put in place and hope that it will get me to at least tomorrow.

That is very fair @Snowie and if surviving today is all you have energy for right now, then put all you got into that. I believe in you hun, you got this 💪💜

Thanks for the support and chat tonight @Jynx

I think it's best I just try and get some sleep.

I hope your day tomorrow is a good one.

You are so welcome @Snowie it's my pleasure. And same to you hun, if not a better tomorrow, hopefully a lighter, easier one. Rest well, sending you big hugs 💜