My special place

I hope your GP appt goes OK @Snowie and your pdoc appt too @Eve7 .

Sending wishes for you both... 💙💛

Not much sleep last night. Worried about the gp appointment.

Worried that I will chicken out and not tell her what has been happening.

Worried if I do tell her, will she not let me walk out of there.

Worried I won't be able to access some more supports.

Argh, so worried, it's only a doctors appointment.

I'm so very stupid.

Went and saw the gp. Asked for the scripts I needed. Took my bp and heart rate, hr was high and bp low. She asked if there was anything else and I said no. Chickened out. I couldn't even ask for more help. I am so stupid. I just want out. I don't know why I even bothered trying.

You’re not stupid @Snowie no way at all hon. I wish I could make you believe that.

I just missed a call from the hospital as I had my phone on silent. Rang back and left a message as I was scared they’d call emergency services.

I hope the hospital got back to you hon @Eve7

I feel so stupid and weak and pathetic.

I couldn't even do the one thing I went in there for.

I am just a waste of space.

You are not any of those things @Snowie please don’t feel that way.

The hospital didn’t get back to me, probably closed their office for the day. I don’t know what to do. I just don’t want this right now.

I’ll call pdoc in the morning and tell her I changed my mind.

I hope you can speak to the pdoc tomorrow hon.

It's hard not too @Eve7 I failed at the one thing I needed to do.

Can you make another appointment @Snowie ?

I guess so @Eve7

I wouldn't be able to get in for at least 3-4 days. The joys of living in a small town.

I am it, I am over feeling like this. Just done.

I really hope for your sake you can work it out tomorrow hon.