My special place

I'm sorry @Eve7 that you are struggling with your sh too. It really does take a lot of energy just to say no to ourselves.

My pdoc appt. went ok. He thinks I should try emdr through my psych instead of going back into hospital for another 4 weeks. Did agree with him wholeheartedly.

I hope today goes ok for you hon 💗💗

I'm doing something this afternoon that I really don't want to do.

I am meeting up with my brother this afternoon who I haven't seen for over 4 years. We are meeting up in a public place. I hate public places but think it might be better then at his or my house.

With my mum not well and my son constantly asking when he is going to see his cousins, I have made the decision to try and have a civil discussion with him in an attempt to allow my nephews to come to my house. Also if something happens to my mum, I don't want the first place to see him is next to her hospital bed. I certainly don't want to speak to him about the past, just about where we go from here. I spoke to my pdoc about it this morning and he gave me a few suggestions which I will take on board.

I'm not sure if I am making the right decision or if this is going to make my ptsd worse. I don't know if I will come away from this feeling ok or have even worse thoughts then I already have. I guess only time will tell. I will have plenty of prn with me however.

If you got this far then thank you. I just needed to get it out of my head.

Sitting by your side for this very brave meeting @Snowie

You’re a champion 💜💜💜

Hi @Snowie

I hope it made you feel a bit better getting it out of your head. I think you're very brave and wise making this decision. Please let us know how it all goes. I'll be thinking of you!

Hanami

That is a massive thing you are doing Hon and I can imagine just how hard it will be @Snowie Whatever happens sweetheart, know how brave, courageous and selfless you are being to do this for your son and Mum - and just how amazing you are for putting your history and feelings aside to do this. I have nothing but admiration for you and of course am sending you all my love to get through this. Remember that you have done nothing wrong and don't give him any more power than he deserves (which is none). Love you and will be waiting to hear from you and support you in whatever you need 💙💙💙💙💙

Thanks @Zoe7 @hanami @Eve7

That is a massive thing you are doing @Snowie

sitting with you my awesome friend xoxo

@Zoe7 @hanami @Eve7 @Shaz51

After all that he messaged me saying he couldn't make it as he got stuck at work. He asked to do it another day. I haven't responded yet.

I'm not sure how I feel. All that for nothing.

My ptsd is creeping back

Oh @Snowie that's got to be frustrating! Like you've had worry about it all day and it was for nothing. I think I would need to wait a bit before re-scheduling. I'd need to 'gather myself' a bit.

Sending hugs

Hanami

Such an anti climax!! @Snowie I’m sorry that happened. Let’s have a cuppa and relax.