My special place

@Snowie it sounds like you're in a dangerous place mentally, and that you would be in danger if you went home. I'm sure you would damage your family more if you removed yourself from this world, than if you stayed longer in hospital.

I hope you can be honest with the treating staff...like @Emelia8 said, meds changes take time.

Sending wishes and hugs... 💙

Sending hugs @Snowie 🥰

Hi @Shaz51 @NatureLover @Bow @Eve7 @Captain24 and anyone else around.

Last night was a bad night but at least today has been a little better.

My family came in today and were able to take me out for awhile. It was nice to see them and nice to see different things, instead of hospital walls 😏

I really want to go home this week and hopefully that can still happen. I have still 2 more treatments as an inpatient and then hopefully I can discharge and then do the rest of the treatments as an out patient.

I'm sorry I haven't been around much for everyone lately. I know that we have to put our own mental health first, but it is still hard not to be here for others. Please know that you are all in my thoughts a lot and will be glad when I am back home and being a regular once again.

Lots of love to you all 💕💕

Love to you too @Snowie. I’m so sorry you are still struggling. I’m glad you got to see your family and get out for a bit.
I hope it was a boost for you.

Thanks @Captain24

Just took some meds so hoping that helps. But in here it means I have to explain why I wanted them. Didn't really want to go into the whole history but has to happen sometimes.

Seeing my family was nice, it was nice to spend some time with my kids. They take on so much more when I am in here, and I feel so much for them. I will be glad when I am back home and they don't have so much responsibilities. They can go back to being typical teenagers 🤗

You inspire me @Snowie. Your strength and your care for others is an attribute that you should be proud of

You don’t have to be sorry about anything @Snowie

Sending love to you 💕

Hi all,

Well ECT session number 10 today. The doctor on was a character. I have met him a few times already and always makes you laugh whilst you are falling off to sleep. Was a nice change!

Another shitty sleep last night. I don't think these new sleeping meds are helping so something I need to speak to the pdoc about. I am hoping he comes in today and if he doesn't then his assistant does. He too is a doctor, but I think just doing extra training to become a pdoc.

I am not sure about my pdoc. He seems very professional and not much empathy towards others. Something happened with the kids the other day that got them upset, and hubby and I worried. It was out of our control and had to rely on emergency services. I can't elaborate on it as it might give too much away. They are fine now as I knew they would be, but he just brushed it off saying they are teenagers and can deal with it themselves. Yes they are teenagers but that doesn't mean I stop worrying about them less than I did when they were younger. I am really wondering if he has got kids himself but realise that would be an inappropriate question to ask.

I am trying to keep my thoughts to myself so departure is hopefully on Friday. I might have to do some ECT sessions as an outpatient, but I would rather that then stay in any longer. I want to get home to hubby, the kids and the dog (and my mum I guess). I certainly do miss the 4 walls of home. Even miss doing the washing, cleaning and cooking at home!! Yes hubby has only done anything a good husband and dad would do, but he still deserves some time off, just like we all do at different times.

If you have read all this then well done. Sometimes it is just easier to blurt it all out on here, Gets some things out of my mind, into the open, and my thoughts a little less harsh. I do believe the change in my depression meds have finally started to help and have kicked in. I can look into the future and it is not all lost hope. Yes there are still things to worry about, but even a small improvement is better than nothing.

Sending lots of love to all and lots of squishes to each and every one of you 🤗💕🤗💕😊

Hello @Snowie , you sound a little brighter about the future 😊

I don’t think it’s inappropriate to ask pdoc if he has kids. I asked mine, she does and I asked if she was married, yes to that too. They want to know so much about us that I think it’s ok to know a bit about them.

It’s very humid here again today and the air is so thick it’s affects my breathing.

I’ve had an anti psychotic added much to my dismay but it’s only a low dose so far. Pdoc wants to increase it weekly but I’m scared for that to happen as it has many side effects.

Sending lots of love 💜💙💜

Thanks @Eve7

Maybe next time I see him I might ask. He isn't my normal pdoc however. I am just seeing him whilst in here. Once released I will go back and see my regular pdoc I have been seeing for about the last 5 years. I know him better and he is very compassionate. Unfortunately he doesn't work at the hospital so have to see someone else.

I hope that the new med helps you out. I guess you can only try it and see how you go with the side effects. At least the pdoc is just gradually increasing it instead of giving you a big dose to start out with.

Thats not good about your breathing hon. I hope you can spend some time inside with a fan and/or air con on to help you out.