My special place

A number of people on my treating team have bought up ECT for me recently too @Snowie I will refuse to have it.

Can I ask why you refuse to do it @Bow ?

Please only answer if you are comfortable doing so

Cause I believe it has had long term cognitive affects on me @Snowie

Thanks for answering @Bow

I think my past rounds of ect have affected my memory. That is why I am hesitant to do it again.

How many have you had @Snowie ?

I think I have had 4 rounds of it @Bow with each round going for 8-12 sessions.

I did 2 of those rounds as an inpatient and then the last two rounds as an outpatient.

I am not sure which is better. With the outpatient sessions I had to rely on hubby to take me in, hang around and pick me up. At least as an inpatient I wasn't bothering anyone.

I just have had enough of where I am at the moment. I have had enough of myself and feel too tired to try. Each day seems to take up so much energy just living.

It’s a lot @Snowie

I only had the one round- 10 sessions. I was kinda inpatient. I went into the psych ward the night before, had my room and bed. But then went home once recovered the same day. Id have no one to transport me, I’d have to rely on friends or a cab home- which isn’t ideal and probably wouldn’t be allowed a cab home. I think I’d actually be terrified to have it again. I just read through the NSW ECT minimum standards. Lots of info in there and it made me feel sick.

Does hubby work @Snowie ? I’m sure he didn’t mind taking you in and out. But yes, inpatient would be easier.

did it help last time?

im really sorry that things are so hard for you. that’s a horrible place to be in… where every day is so exhausting.

That must have been hard @Bow , especially taking a taxi home.

It is hard to rely on others, especially when we feel like we are a burden to them.

Hubby does work but he is his own boss so can take time out or rearrange his time. I know he doesn't mind taking me but I just feel like I inconvenience him. Probably me just overthinking again.

I could always ask if I could just do overnight stays. I am not sure what the procedure is at the hospital. It has probably changed since covid happened.

That’s handy that hubby is his own boss @Snowie

my mum doesn’t drive and step dad is too unwell now to drive. So have to rely on friends a lot if we need it, which is hard. I’ve caught many a taxi home from the hospital cause I’ve not wanted to bother friends… even walked home once.

might be worth asking @Snowie if it’s something you are going to consider. Whatever will make it more bareable.

I told my pdoc I will think about it @Bow

Guess I just have to weigh up the pros and cons.

Have you got anything planned for tomorrow?