My special place

@Snowie so sad for you and the family of your friend. It is hard because we know of the pain for those left behind but there is also the pain that person must have been going through. I personally do not see it as selfish but as a tragedy that it ever gets to that stage. There is not always the help that is needed but you and I both know that sometimes even that help is not enough.

I know you are reluctant to go into hospital Hon but it does seem you need that extra help and support right now. Hugs and hugs sweetheart 💙

Hi all

Spoke to my pdoc again yesterday. Increasing meds again 😒 All I feel like I do is keep taking more meds. The problem is that they are not making me feel any better so really what is the point. Really over them. He did bring up an admission and/or doing ECT again. Don't really want to do either.

My days feel like I am just existing at the moment, not living. Haven't heard from my psych again.

Hi @Snowie

Sorry to hear you are feeling so flat. Feeling like you are just existing it not nice. I've had those times in my life. But existing is fine for now. 'Just' existing is ok. These times WILL pass. The days will get better eventually. Thinking of you and here for you to chat if you need.

Hanami

Thinking of you @Snowie as you negotiate this super difficult time. So much going on in your life over the past month or so. Little wonder you are struggling now. Really proud of you for taking the necessary steps to keep yourself safe. You will get through this, as you have before. Your persistence and resilience is such an admirable trait of yours. Take the advice of your trusted support team. If that means a hospital admission, then please give it serious consideration now. Dont wait until there is no alternative. I know you will make the right decisions for you. Please take care. 💗

Emelia

Thanks @Emelia8 @hanami

It is my sons birthday next week so really trying to stay out of hospital for that. Just trying to make it through till then.

I really don't know what to do. I feel like I am consumed by my MI at the moment.

@Snowie I understand

💗🌻🌷

Oh @Snowie I really feel for you. Sometimes our MI has no rhyme or reason (a lot of the time I should say!). We just have to ride it out. Good days will come again. Do you have something nice that you like to do that haven't done for a long time? I know it's hard to get motivated but sometimes doing just one little thing when we feel so down, can be an achievement and make us feel good. Have you bought your son a gift yet? I wonder if you could make it extra nice this year. I remember once I wrote a funny poem to my son on his birthday. It was about how much he made me laugh even when I was sad. He loved that. so much and it brought me so much joy. I really hope you can find something to pick you up a little.

Sending hugs

Hanami ❤️

Thanks @Emelia8 💕

@hanami I have brought my son a gift. It is a computer that he can use for gaming too. It is what he wanted. I have a few small things for him too.

I tried to go for a walk today with the dog. I think I made it about 100m down the road and then turned back. It just seemed too hard.

I find little pleasure in things these days. I used to sew quite a bit and haven't had the motivation to do that. I have everything here but just starting it seems like a lot of energy I haven't got.

I have no appetite. I am going to try and have a shower tonight. Haven't had one for 6 days.

Today has just been hard

Here if you wanna chat @Snowie 💜