Topic Tuesday**closed** // 24 Nov, 7pm AEDT // Taking control of anger, and not letting anger control you

Good evening eveyone, and welcome to @Former-Member who is joining us to tonight, as well at those who RSVP'd @kes @Shaz51 @CMHN1 @Vicki @Jacques @chookmojo @Appleblossom @Mazarita @Former-Member @Former-Member @CannonSalt!

Tonight we're dicussing anger. We've all felt it at some point in our lives. It's a challenging emotion, and can be hard to control, and difficult to understand.

So I thought this first question for tonight, would around trying to understand what anger is. Can you tell us what it is @Former-Member. And what our members thoughts about what anger is from your own experiences? For me, it's seeing red, and feeling like I'm about to burst with negative emotion.

Good evening all, and thanks for having me tonight 🙂

At the SANE Help Centre, we regularly encounter people who struggle with anger. Anger is a normal human emotion that we all experience from time to time - when things don't go the way we want, or people don't behave the way we think they should. Anger can be both a physical and emotional experience, and it can be very overwhelming. Contrary to popular belief, it is not necessary wrong or bad to be angry. Rather, it’s what we choose to do with that anger that determines whether it becomes a problem in our lives.

Yeah, anger, can in fact be helpful at time. It can be useful in uncovering emotional and situational circumstances that have not been resolved - I hear anger is a 'secondary' emotion, can you tell me a bit more about this @Former-Member?

Hi @CherryBomb and @Former-Member,

Thanks for getting this Topic Tuesday going. I'm in a fairly peaceful place at present regarding anger but have previously had some big problems with it, especially in relationships with those closest to me. It has really got out of control at times in the past. I'm very interested to hear what you and others have to say as the session proceeds.

I rarely feel angry, but I do have some spectacular dreams in which I rage and scream, so I suspect I bottle it all up.

Hi @kes,

Welcome to the discussion! Yes, to see you new posts you will need to refresh your browser.

I get an overwhelming feeling of anger, towards myself, when I forget what it was I was about to do or going into a shop and standing wondering what the hell am I doing here. I usually walk away not knowing what I wanted and the more I ponder the worse my anger gets. I get to the stage where the question is all consuming which in turn increases my frustration, anger. The feeling usually lasts until bed time where I just lay there trying to remember just what it was that I initially went to get. During the night I will wake regulary and finally figure that what I wanted was not all that important and forget about it until I wake the next day, and sure enough I will remember and curse myself because it will have been for a chocolate. It is not the the fact that I could not remember what it was just the fact I forgat and in doing so became so angry that the rest of my day will jhave been a total waste of precious time. Yep I am back, be it good or bad, I really neede to contact all those wonderful understanding souls on this site.

Sure @CherryBomb

You're quite right... sometimes anger is just anger. However, more often than not, anger can be secondary to other underlying emotions. For example, anger might be a result of feeling fearful, embarrassed, or sad. Oftentimes acknowledging these underlying emotions can be kind of scary and uncomfortable at first, it can seem easier to just be angry. It's important to check in with ourselves and try to identify the source of our anger. Connecting honestly with our emotional experience can help us understand how we really feel and in turn, help us get on the path to resolving our anger.

@Former-Member How does one tune into underlying emotions when anger is in the form of 'snapping' and immediately losing control? In the past I have often been surprised by my own angry outbursts and they've happened before I've been able to consider anything at all.