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Is Dementia Mental Illness? It's a disease of the mind so i'm hoping i still belong here. If not for that - today at the DR he was asked if he gets depression - dad answered "yes I do get depressed" It's hard to read with dad's early vascular dementia.
Around Christmas i moved in with my parents as mum was unable to manage hersef let alone continue as dad's carer. She was end stage cancer and died in hospital palliative care only 19 days after i arrived 😞 I was shocked how sick she became in the 2months since my last three week trip.. My goodness - what a fighter she was. My two younger brothers were dropping in a couple of times a day & helped with transport, bills & shopping - but could not stay in the house.longer than 30min - becoming restless... (probably the MI-Sz / drug related) and they were wearing thin. getting angry.. Mum was so difficult / hurtful during my last stay to help, i was reluctant to come again unless she asked me to. It was hard for her but necessary. The first attempt to drive the 1200km i ran off the road & badly crashed my car - a 'Write Off' Sore bones & shellshot - I had to rest a few days before flew down.
I hit the floor running - household duties, neals & loads of patient reassurance for mum. Even giving her a bell. Wasnt easy looking them both, clearly dad had been neglected for sone time.
I was still in the bad books for reporting him as a medically 'unfit' driver during my last stay. They fought it and gad x2 doctors confer ( why not done before is beyond me).
So here i am, feeling alone with 'toxic family' threatened by my presence, the loss of my mum, a dad in grief, with early vascular dementia, diabetes, heart disease, spinal injury - poor mobility, bad incontinence. Its full on some days. Not just the cleaning up but all the medical appointments. Especially since mum had understandablly got behind on things like optometrist, pidiatrist... even the GP...
Just looking for support as feeling somewhat shattered after only x5 weeks. Big day today.
Oh well @Appleblossom, can only do what we can. Nice to see you here tonight. You’re doin ok. I reckon a hotchocolate might help us ☕️☕️☕️ And maybe one of these 🍦🍦🍦 yum 💕 @outlander, yep Craft projects can be very therapeutic. I get very disorganised when down, can’t find bits I need, all over the place untidy this last while. But ... @Faith-and-Hope will be pleased to hear I found a fantastic book to glue together for the Art Journal she recommended on her “Art Class” thread. Have you visited there? Must check in for instructions again. Glueing pages together tonight, while watching tv. But getting 💤 sleepy
Hope you both sleep well. Hang in there. “Gently Bentley” (love that saying Apple)
🌸🌿💕
🌷
In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Thats fantastic @Former-Member i hope your able to do some of the crafty things you want to do. Gluing pages is a great start! And yep i have been on that thread im always following along with interest.
Goodnight lovely 😘❣❣
In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Very pleased for you @Former-Member ..... 💜💕
In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Unknown userMember
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Today I start shutting down dad’s home services. - leather recliner being picked up today, was on hire from dva - Vital Call & pendant unplugged / shut down, wrapped in glad wrap with chords. Not sure if the base etc goes back to HQ, hmm, my bro with MS could do with one of these - linen service - pickup tomorrow. Today I have to find, pack & label linen to go (x4 sheets, x4 Kylie’s, x4 pillow cases, x4 towels. - Mobile Physio - Dietitian (monthly home review) - Community Nursing Service (daily shower) - Cleaning service (1.5hrs fortnight) - in home Respite 3hrs Week (DVA Home) - Centrelink & GP endorsed CARER 24/7 Think that’s all of them - Unplug / hide home phone so Bro4 stops using it Not given Guardianship (because of bro-2), - I am unable to act as an authority on any of dad’s fiscal commitments such as home phone, Foxtel, electricity, gas... to have them disconnected. Not sure there’s much point notifying dad’s GP, Podiatrist, Dentist, Optometrist, Gerontologist & other specialists, and Relatives. While doing this I will also make known to Public Guardian all the above hom services put on hold waiting for dad to come home from respite.
It’s like a sta#b in the heart every time I have to tell someone dad is not coming home. And unable to answer the WHY question,
Such is life
In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Hugs @Former-Member ❤
In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Maybe you could just say he is going to need a higher level of care from here, so it's time to start packing up his home ....
@Former-Member
I can understand the stab in the heart feeling ..... it's really hard for you, and you are doing so well with it all. Many of us are yet to get to that point where we are making decisions over the care of elderly parents. I lost my Mum, as you know, but my Dad is still in his own home and very active at this stage ..... bless you, you have done so much for your Dad, and you can't control the rest of the family and what they choose to do .....
Time to look after you Hon, but it still hurts ..... hearing you loud and clear, and sitting with you.
Hugs, hugs and more hugs 💜🌷💕
In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Unknown userMember
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Got the RFD document today REASON FOR DECISION
= FAMILY CONFLICT 21 pages to tell me what I already knew.
In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Unknown userMember
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Makes me cranky though when I read these lengthy legal documents that repeat LIES said (as if truth) and worse - misquote. For example - I told them in my application that I am seeing a PSYCHOLOGIST regularly, to assist any grief issues with mum & my girl given that I have had major depressive admission 2011, and my psychologist supports my continuing to care for dad. BUT, Guardianship Division of NCAT Trivunal quoted me as stating I am under the care of a PSYCHIATRIST - for a previous mental health episode” 😞 The latter sounds so much worse 😞 I have little tolerance for this crap!
Anyway, visited dad yesterday, he has lost 3kg and they are allowing him to have an egg & baked beans for breakfast as he always had at home (finally). They also now have salt & pepper & sweetener within his reach for meals and or beverages. And, his dentures appear to be getting removed and cleaned now. Some issues I raised last week with ADPC. Guess the brothers didn’t notice these things or look for them. I have yet to talk to dad’s doctor (Case Conference apt last week was cancelled), and other issues such as his water & nurses buzzer out of reach and not getting assistance to dial phone numbers... Oh, and someone shaved his beard off yesterday 😳. Dad has had a beard for x10 years. Wonder who made that decision for him. They never consult famil / me about these things. What more can I do. Did I tell you I re-homed the male dog Sandy? Dad can’t remember him and I’m not about to pay vet bills for two dogs. The sibs don’t want him. I’m feeling numb, increase in antidepressants I guess, but this helps as I’m less teary / emotional talking with nursing staff & other officials. I wish I was more.
Dad thought I was someone else yesterday, said i’ve only been to see him once before - a long time ago 😞 Demetria is so cruel.
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