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Depression Dementia Dad

Unknown userMember31 Jan 2018, 10:01 pm AEDT

Depression Dementia Dad

Is Dementia Mental Illness? It's a disease of the mind so i'm hoping i still belong here. If not for that - today at the DR he was asked if he gets depression - dad answered "yes I do get depressed" It's hard to read with dad's early vascular dementia.

Around Christmas i moved in with my parents as mum was unable to manage hersef let alone continue as dad's carer. She was end stage cancer and died in hospital palliative care only 19 days after i arrived 😞 I was shocked how sick she became in the 2months since my last three week trip.. My goodness - what a fighter she was. My two younger brothers were dropping in a couple of times a day & helped with transport, bills & shopping - but could not stay in the house.longer than 30min - becoming restless... (probably the MI-Sz / drug related) and they were wearing thin. getting angry.. Mum was so difficult / hurtful during my last stay to help, i was reluctant to come again unless she asked me to. It was hard for her but necessary. The first attempt to drive the 1200km i ran off the road & badly crashed my car - a 'Write Off' Sore bones & shellshot - I had to rest a few days before flew down.

I hit the floor running - household duties, neals & loads of patient reassurance for mum. Even giving her a bell. Wasnt easy looking them both, clearly dad had been neglected for sone time.

I was still in the bad books for reporting him as a medically 'unfit' driver during my last stay. They fought it and gad x2 doctors confer ( why not done before is beyond me).

So here i am, feeling alone with 'toxic family' threatened by my presence, the loss of my mum, a dad in grief, with early vascular dementia, diabetes, heart disease, spinal injury - poor mobility, bad incontinence. Its full on some days. Not just the cleaning up but all the medical appointments. Especially since mum had understandablly got behind on things like optometrist, pidiatrist... even the GP...

Just looking for support as feeling somewhat shattered after only x5 weeks. Big day today.

lapses

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In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Unknown userMember21 Oct 2018, 10:25 am AEDT

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

@Former-Member

You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers.

In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Unknown userMember21 Oct 2018, 10:31 am AEDT

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Thanks @Former-Member, appreciate that you care. Hope you’re ok.

Dad wanted me to come back first thing in the morning, today, but I can’t. He was really tired last night, but ate the marinated kebabs on stick I brang, and all his meal, and they had condiments within his reach fir the first time (one issue raised with DOC meeting.

@Faith-and-Hope, maybe, just having trouble making it to a much needed shower today. But have had light brekky & pills & watched amazing Derek Prince sermon on healing “righteousness of God...”. started out by saying “you may even be thinking of suicide - don’t do it!” Needed to hear that. I have started packing my car / decking it out a little, to live in. Gotta go 💕

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Unknown userMember21 Oct 2018, 4:08 pm AEDT

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

@Former-Member there are places that deck out vans with a decent bed, mini fridge etc. Having the dogs will bring comfort to you.

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Unknown userMember21 Oct 2018, 5:49 pm AEDT

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

I hope so @Former-Member, having a lot of self doubt wondering if I’m not a good option even for dogs Isn’t that a terrible thing to say to myself :(. But having said that - Georgia is snoring at my feet as I type.

Found a good home for Sandy today, he really took to the little 6yo girl, and they have money and property... he’ll be well cared for. I can’t manage two dogs, but I still feel sad having separated them. Georgia has taken to me and I’ve never felt that with a dog before and maybe it’s a gift I shouldn’t throw away this time. Dads forgotten about the dogs I think, didn’t seem to want to pat them when I last bought them to him 😞

So many goodbyes.

Do you know the name of any of these places that do out vans? I don’t need much.

Public Guardian team will make decision about changing dad from ‘Respite’ to ‘Permanent Care’ on 6th Nov. They’ve asked me to submit ‘a case’ for bringing dad home, if that’s what he wants, and that’s certainly what he says to me (although less & less), I fear it’s breaking his heart, But I’m not sure he realises his high care level & that he’ll need to go through all this again in the near future as his dementia worsens... He has serious mobility, continence & cognitive decline - ‘moderate vascular sementia’ & ‘depression’ the gerontologist s say. I doubt challenging permanent placement would be in HIS best interest anymore, or mine (when I step back & be objective). So, I got two weeks to tidy up loose ends and be gone.

I think you’re right about not being here for the big ‘clean-up’ and sell-off’ of the family home, even my psychologist said the same Friday “you’ve done your bit” she said. And even though they don’t acknowledge it - I know in my heart I truly have gone above and beyond (funny how I can for others more than myself). But yeah, I got apx 2wks

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Unknown userMember21 Oct 2018, 6:01 pm AEDT