Depression Dementia Dad

I'm so upset atm 😭

Just took dad to see dr re rash etc & the dr was real upset because my Bro2 had been in there unannounced, never been before, and questioned dr about my capacity to care for dad and apparently Bro2 abused the dr for stating he was happy that dad is well cared for. But not only that, apparently Bro2 has since filed a formal complaint about dads dr to the medical board (or so) & this has angered dad's doctor.

When i entered dad's dr's room (with dad in a wheelchair) to get the results of dad's X-Rays & have this bad rash looked, the dr's body language was that of 'ready for battle' 😞 and before sitting down he asked me "do you have a brother Lloyd?...."

OMyGoodness, i apologised for my brothers who are not coping with losing mum... ... But clearly the dr was not his usual sharp thinking happy man i have grown to like. Bro3 definately poison.

But also, i feel pressured, dads gerontologist & this gp are pressuring me to apply for guardianship of dad. But i'm scared of the can of worms it would open with the siblings again. I'm scared of my stress levels, the ruthless cold legal processes, always standing alone, and scared i'll crack / have another breakdown or stroke... I feel overloaded as is. But who else can.

oh crap! getting a migraine now, grr!

And i'm worried about dad tjishwerk too,i this rash, and his bsl was 17.4 tonight & yesterday he sent the physio away refusing to do it, probably 'cause they changed his usual male attendent dad liked to a migit woman 😞 Far out! When will they realise ppl with memory loss & depression... they need continuity.

@ Dec @ Faith-and-Hope @ Apple @ Darcy @ Anyone

@Former-Member

firstly im sending you big hugs. im so sorry to hear about your day. you have enough on your plate taking care of your dad without your siblings adding to things.

applying for guardianship for your dad sounds like it would be a good idea. i can understand why you are hesitant though. im assuming that once its done, you will have full control over what happens. i wish your family would make things easier for you.

as for your brother filing a complaint against the doctor, do you think he would have valid reasons for it to be looked into?

how are you feeling now? how is your dad?

@Former-Member

Keep breathing, this also will end. Life just throws these things at you but you must believe in yourself

The Doctor involved has enough evidence to show the Medical Board you clearly have your dad's best interest at heart.

Try not to bite into your brother's drama, you know better and your dad knows it too.

Lovely he sang for you the other day.

Hang in there.

Grasshopper3

I also read that post before last which did concern me. @Former-Member It is often very hard to keep going and being there for your dad and trying to get your family together seems so difficult. I hope you are still in this world for long time as you have a lot to give, and the world needs givers.

I am glad you accept your care-giver role.

Stanley Spencer is an English artist ... The Resurrection of Tidying.

Hope you like this pic.

I am sorry that doc had to deal with your bro being toxic, but maybe it will be some proof of the family difficulties.

Loneliness is hard.

You do have a lot of strength @Former-Member.

Sorry you dont get the support you want all the time. I know that feeling well.

Glad to see a lot of people appreciating you on this thread.

Oh goll-ee @Former-Member

Most of your sibs are the pits and B2 is into nastiness - or that's how it comes over - I understand that this is hard for you and confronting your sibs is going to be a very scary and on-going issues

You have us - we can support you at times when other people in your life are unavailable - and also - having a court order to care for your Dad gives you real power but -

I also know what a control freak your sister is - I am like - not scared of my version of TS but her bitchiness is something I don't understand and she is impossible to discuss anything with because she already has her opinion on everything and my mind just doesn't go there

So you have TS and Bros 2 & 3 are seriously MI and your other brothers are the one with MS and the baby brother - and I think that you have some support there so let's hope you can get to talk to them and sort out some back up with the other sibs turn up with whatever they have to battle with

I have every faith that you are caring for your Dad from love and left alone with it will manage well while you sort out your bad back and other health issues - I have the feeling your Bro2 and Bro3 wander in and out when they feel like it and interfer with things and you are living and working there atm and need some privacy without them

This is so hard Lapses - I wish I had come in earlier but I went to sleep watching TV

Sending more hugs - it would be great if your Dad could live out the last days/weeks/years of his life in peace - grumpy old man or not - he has not had a peaceful life

I think your sibs are jealous of you - why I do not know - they don't want to do the hard work of caring for Dad

Thinking of you Lapses - sending hugs

Dec

I'm sorry about that migraine Lapses

Appreciate all your responses.

I think maybe Bro2 is having a breakdown / midlife crisis of his own or something, to lash out like this. He's been the worst brother to me all along (well, if you exclude the big brother early insest crap grr).

Oh what a trainwreck of a family. I wouldnt be so open here if it wasn't anonymous. But thanks,

Need moral support / help sometimes, thats all.

Its 3am and I can't go back to sleep. No surprises there. But the headache has gone & muscle tension.

Dad sounds awake too. He keeps the tv on all night in his room most nights.

I'm glad i'm here for him, its just wrong how my siblings are behaving.

Not "buying into their drama" is hard for me because i so desire to get along / have proper family support, as God intended.

Mum (her MI & brain trauma re eye cancer radiation cobolt), mums problems caused a lot of harm in life, so much division. Think all this is the residue of that. And God knows how hell feeds off conflict.