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Depression Dementia Dad

Depression Dementia Dad

Is Dementia Mental Illness? It's a disease of the mind so i'm hoping i still belong here. If not for that - today at the DR he was asked if he gets depression - dad answered "yes I do get depressed" It's hard to read with dad's early vascular dementia.

Around Christmas i moved in with my parents as mum was unable to manage hersef let alone continue as dad's carer. She was end stage cancer and died in hospital palliative care only 19 days after i arrived 😞 I was shocked how sick she became in the 2months since my last three week trip.. My goodness - what a fighter she was. My two younger brothers were dropping in a couple of times a day & helped with transport, bills & shopping - but could not stay in the house.longer than 30min - becoming restless... (probably the MI-Sz / drug related) and they were wearing thin. getting angry.. Mum was so difficult / hurtful during my last stay to help, i was reluctant to come again unless she asked me to. It was hard for her but necessary. The first attempt to drive the 1200km i ran off the road & badly crashed my car - a 'Write Off' Sore bones & shellshot - I had to rest a few days before flew down.

I hit the floor running - household duties, neals & loads of patient reassurance for mum. Even giving her a bell. Wasnt easy looking them both, clearly dad had been neglected for sone time.

I was still in the bad books for reporting him as a medically 'unfit' driver during my last stay. They fought it and gad x2 doctors confer ( why not done before is beyond me).

So here i am, feeling alone with 'toxic family' threatened by my presence, the loss of my mum, a dad in grief, with early vascular dementia, diabetes, heart disease, spinal injury - poor mobility, bad incontinence. Its full on some days. Not just the cleaning up but all the medical appointments. Especially since mum had understandablly got behind on things like optometrist, pidiatrist... even the GP...

Just looking for support as feeling somewhat shattered after only x5 weeks. Big day today.

lapses

850 replies

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In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Hey @Former-Member , sending you a knowing hug my friend

will try again to write my message

I had to go to the hospital this morning , found out i have a Bladder infection

on the way to the hospital we have to drive past my mum`s house and all her windows were all closed , which was strange as she opens certain windows in the morning when she is awake

while sitting waiting for a doctor , i was thinking " is mum alright " "

"has she passed away ", has she had an accident , what will I do , break a window ?? will I call the police?? I rang her from the hospital and there was no answer , started to worry

after seeing the doctor , I could not get to mum`s fast enough to see what happened

Mum was not very well and went back to bed ---- ahhhhh

In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Thanks

@Appleblossom, &

@Former-Member
-i'm fine 😏
why wouldn't i be 😓
yeah right
I cooked dinner, soup & toast


Apple, your losses are so much. Its just not 'real' to go round pretending its not gonna happen. People die, often before there time. MI is equally as life threatening as serious physical illnesses, which people die early from too. We just have to work the ailment as best we can, with or without help. I see a psychologist, theres not much they can do with SI, it is what brains do - think. But ya right - need to not run away too far on what may never occur.

However, if my dad dies at home i do want to have a strategy in place to cope with that & know what to do. Was hoping other carers might offer that here. How to prepare for the inevitable.


I'll shutup now. ❤

ps i get my 50min hour once a month with a psychologist (x10 a year) 😏 somehow thats all there is for me, oh yeah, and a little white daily antidepressant tablet 😍🎉

lol

In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Thanks for sharing that @Shaz51, it is very real fear, especially when w're caring for them & theyre getting on. Your sharing makes me feel normal - thanks 😁

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

@Former-Member good night my amazing friend xxx

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

@Shaz51, sorry you have an infection, hope u & your mum feel better tomorrow. Hugz❤

In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

My elderly Dad lives alone @Former-Member .... so that is a thought that comes up for me sometimes too. We asked him to move to our city, which would mean moving my sister too from the place where she lives in his town as she needs a guardian.

This is what I have found online @Former-Member .....

https://www.finder.com.au/what-to-do-when-someone-dies

When I am worried about a situation I don’t have control over, I look for the practical “what to do if” sort of information because it can help you put some worries on hold that way ...... you have a path to follow for the “what if” if that is what eventuates.

💜💐

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

how are you today @Former-Member xxxx

In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

I'm ok sort of @Shaz51, are you? ABs might take a couple days to work for you. Dad had another choking episode tonight. That frightened look he gives me (my girl never had that), it will be interesting to get the results fron the Barium Swallow he had yesterday. Its the runny liquids after eating that does it - usually a hot cuppa.

I'm tired and i'm sick of my back hurting. Its even down my thighs tonight, like period pain. Avoiding pain meds all day bur maybe i need to be kind to myself. Must book that MRI

And its lonely, i get lonely. Though 2 of my friends from up north rang today for a chat.

One friend told me she was watering my plants when the Real Estate showed someone through my property. She told my friend she doesn't tell me (the owner) when she's doing inspections anymore because i get disappointed with no offers. This is not sitting well with me. Hey @Owlunar, anyone have a comment on this.

Finally got my eyes checked & new glasses arrived yesterday (trod on my old ones 😕 ), multiocals - x2 for one still = $500. So much for specksavers 😕 But at least these ones can stay on all the time. I got mens glasses- like the shape.

My thoughts are not dark today. Hope all here are ok?

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad




@Former-Memberwrote:
I'm ok sort of @Shaz51, are you? ABs might take a couple days to work for you. Dad had another choking episode tonight. That frightened look he gives me (my girl never had that), it will be interesting to get the results fron the Barium Swallow he had yesterday. Its the runny liquids after eating that does it - usually a hot cuppa.

I'm tired and i'm sick of my back hurting. Its even down my thighs tonight, like period pain. Avoiding pain meds all day bur maybe i need to be kind to myself. Must book that MRI

And its lonely, i get lonely. Though 2 of my friends from up north rang today for a chat.

One friend told me she was watering my plants when the Real Estate showed someone through my property. She told my friend she doesn't tell me (the owner) when she's doing inspections anymore because i get disappointed with no offers. This is not sitting well with me. Hey @Owlunar, anyone have a comment on this.

Finally got my eyes checked & new glasses arrived yesterday (trod on my old ones 😕 ), multiocals - x2 for one still = $500. So much for specksavers 😕 But at least these ones can stay on all the time. I got mens glasses- like the shape.

My thoughts are not dark today. Hope all here are ok?

Hi @Former-Member

It sounds as if you are having a rough time atm - yes - glasses cost a lot but I found when I started wearing glasses all the time I didn't have to keep getting up to find them - or getting to work or school and finding I didn't have them in my bag -

Sorry about your Dad choking - that would be scary - drinking tea after eating - ye-ah - it sounds as if he has a constriction of some kind in his throat - I hope that Barium Swallow - sounds terrible - but let's hope it helps find out what's causing it

And yes - go and have that MRI - hold on while I count how many I have had - two spine, two right knee, one right shoulder - 5 - promise you the spine is pretty easy compared with the shoulder because we have to keep breathing - I know - it costs a lot but you are really suffering with that pain in your back

And I hear you - you are feeling lonely and I understand - I feel a bit like that myself this evening - things have piled up on me a bit - but I will be okay - I hope you are too -

About the agent and the house - are you still thinking of selling it or holding onto it until you sort things out with your Dad - it's still your house and it's totally up to you if you want the agents showing it while you are away dealing with family issues right now - is there anything else?

We both have a lot happening sis - thinking of you

Dec

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Sorry about your Dad choking - that would be scary @Former-Member, sending you hugs

sitting with you xxx

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