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Is Dementia Mental Illness? It's a disease of the mind so i'm hoping i still belong here. If not for that - today at the DR he was asked if he gets depression - dad answered "yes I do get depressed" It's hard to read with dad's early vascular dementia.
Around Christmas i moved in with my parents as mum was unable to manage hersef let alone continue as dad's carer. She was end stage cancer and died in hospital palliative care only 19 days after i arrived 😞 I was shocked how sick she became in the 2months since my last three week trip.. My goodness - what a fighter she was. My two younger brothers were dropping in a couple of times a day & helped with transport, bills & shopping - but could not stay in the house.longer than 30min - becoming restless... (probably the MI-Sz / drug related) and they were wearing thin. getting angry.. Mum was so difficult / hurtful during my last stay to help, i was reluctant to come again unless she asked me to. It was hard for her but necessary. The first attempt to drive the 1200km i ran off the road & badly crashed my car - a 'Write Off' Sore bones & shellshot - I had to rest a few days before flew down.
I hit the floor running - household duties, neals & loads of patient reassurance for mum. Even giving her a bell. Wasnt easy looking them both, clearly dad had been neglected for sone time.
I was still in the bad books for reporting him as a medically 'unfit' driver during my last stay. They fought it and gad x2 doctors confer ( why not done before is beyond me).
So here i am, feeling alone with 'toxic family' threatened by my presence, the loss of my mum, a dad in grief, with early vascular dementia, diabetes, heart disease, spinal injury - poor mobility, bad incontinence. Its full on some days. Not just the cleaning up but all the medical appointments. Especially since mum had understandablly got behind on things like optometrist, pidiatrist... even the GP...
Just looking for support as feeling somewhat shattered after only x5 weeks. Big day today.
Oh @Appleblossom, thats so hard, and complicated. My brother is 9yrs younger but i wouldn't dear challenge mother - he says i cared for him more "was more of a mum than mum was" .
Sounds like you had a lot of time for your sister. Any wonder you miss her. They say grief is the price of love. You and me both can say "we survived our family" Well, i'm sitting in the middle of mine atm - but there's little affection / warmth in connections, just a duty / being polite.
Families were not meant to be like this. I'm sorry yours wasn't better. Do ya ever wonder how much better we could have done withoit it?
You hang in there through April ❤❤❤
In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Thanks Bella @Former-Member It has been a long time now.
I can understand how it happens with migration and poor times without social support in families.
You are doing your best. That is what counts.
I just had a friend drop by and my son has his gf over, so for 2 loners we are very social atm.
In response to: Depression Dementia Dad
Unknown userMember
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Sigh 😔, so tired but need to process things with someone.
Tired tonight... Sore back & neck & gums (yep, never had sore gums before) Just took otc analgesia as need to dleep sometime soon.
Big day tomorrow, have another funeral. Sad's sister this time. Poor dad. His early dementia sheilds him a little i think but he's aware. It takes a lot of extra organising to take dad out anywhere. And ive got to sleep or anxiety driving can be bad (this country girl not use to traffick lol.
In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Here and listening @Former-Member .....
In response to: Depression Dementia Dad
Unknown userMember
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Well, the day worked out (accept for the driving through city traffic, unfamiliar roads, with dad contradicting the gps every turn (angry swear words not helping) we were 10min late, but the only sibling, eldest there, guest of honour - they waited for him. As soon as we pulled up nephews from everywhere swooped in to help him aut and push the wheelchair. Yep, he was spoilt / honoured, and loved 🙂 He got extremely teary with this one (nothing at mum's), more people were crying there today - she was an azing loving lady, and adored her baby brother. It was kinda like respite being there with all these helpers for dad. Wish i could post the pic of all my cousins with dad. Its been such a healing reconnecting with them all. For dad i think too 🙂 It was a Park Funeral (even though rhe service was Christian). Arriving in the green with white coffin centre stage - oh dear - the tears 😓
Dad muat be ok, 1030pm dad's singing Advance Aust Fair on bed. He has his tv on so guessing we won another medal in Comm Games. He loves watching the games. Any formality like that actually. .
Well, cant keep me eyes open. Good Night 🙂
In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Good Night @Former-Member
I am going to bed too.
Funerals can generate lots of positive feelings, with good memories, and seeing people and getting together .
Glad you were there to take him.
In response to: Depression Dementia Dad
Bella1978Senior Contributor
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
@Former-Member Hello, i dont think we have chatted before but i wanted to ask u about ur dad's dementia - i hope u don't mind. How did u know ur dad started having dementia. My mum has been struggling the past few weeks and i thought it was her depression. She also had a UTi at the time. She was, and still is, doing strange things. Ive been reading up on symptoms of dementia but they overlap with both depression and UTI's. Hoping u might be able to shed some light for me x
In response to: Depression Dementia Dad
Bella1978Senior Contributor
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
@Former-Member Sending big hugs your way. Thank you for posting the quote from Paul Coelho - love it, and something to remember xx
In response to: Depression Dementia Dad
Unknown userMember
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
@Former-Member Any updates on the mouse - rat situation? At our place, baits have been eaten, no further sightings.
In response to: Depression Dementia Dad
Unknown userMember
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Hi @Bella1978 & @Former-Member, I'm lacking tonight and not up to listing dad's symptoms. Bit its the gerentologist whose qualified to make a formal diagnosis. In dad's case "moderate vascular dementia" - low score on "MiniMentalExam" (google this test for your mum, not the abrebiated one). - short term memory loss - out of charactor mirroring of emotions - slow reflexes - can't learn new talks - can't find or say the words for things - poor decision making - forgets faces - dificulty swallowing
theres a few
Bit worried about dad tonight as he's voice is raspy & he had a nasty choking episode Fri. Off too his Dr tomorrow i guess.
I'm sore from heavy garden work today, hope i can walk in the morning lol
Feel a bit down. Not sure why. But just had a lovely conversation wit son. He's feelingich better in himself and all i can think to do is encourage that ❤
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