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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thinking of you @Determined - hope you get through tomorrow ok

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Mum in law is back out of isolation ward. Seems whatever bug Drs thought she had she hasn't after tests so that is a relief. She does look weaker though 😔

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Growing concern about darling also.

General mood is on a downward trend I feel with among other things negative self image comments. A few more egg shells than usual to walk around and the ice is a bit thinner 😒

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

How are things today @Determined?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Former-Member 😬

All quiet at the moment but started the day with threats of self harm (permanent type).

Went to the hospital to visit MIL and FIL got an expletive lanen rant because of something he said. All avoiding each other at the moment. I am just tired at the moment. Over it all.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I am just tired at the moment. Over it all. -- kow what you mean my @Determined, sending you hugs

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I think it is a combination of the unknown with MIL and impending back to school/ uni.

School and uni by itself is enough to push her over the edge but add mum to the mix and ...

I get that but find it hard to accept being blamed for everything and treated so poorly 😥

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Yikes @Determined you were suspecting a downward slide ... do you think treating team need an alert to be raised Bro? Do you know when her next pdoc appt is?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hard to know @Former-Member if I should be raising the flag just yet. I may ask tomorrow when the next pdoc app is. If info is not forthcoming I could just call and find out. Darling really needs to be seeing a councillor but refuses. While there is currently risk I think it is low enough at the moment to manage at home but for how much longer ? If things continue on the downward trend I will requesting assistance though.

Makes tricky with MIL so uncertain.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Emotions high all round doesn't make it easy Bro ... sending extra prayers up for you @Determined. Do you think your Darling would be amenable to having a chat with a cancer support person (rather than MI specific)? They might be able to give you some tips re: S1.

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