@Determined, as you might imagine, we've also got a few "worst case scenarios" that lurk in our mental peripheral vision.
On occasions they come to front and centre. I try to hold a tension between looking at these potentialities squarely enough that if or when they come about, I'm not totally blindsided; and reminding myself that these are possibilities, not present realities, and I cannot deal with them unless/until they come.
Emotional and practical support for carers of people with MI can be thin on the ground. There's a limit to how much we can talk about with friends and family without breaching our loved one's privacy. So yes, get as much care around yourself and your family as you can.
Most of our family are seeing psychologists one way or another, and boy we need it. We try to enourage our other "kids" (teens and adults...) into things which will support them emotionally. Time with friends, opportunities to have fun and build skills, special events etc.
Self care... that's a harder thing to achieve. I haven't yet reconnected with the local region's carer support network- ironically, because my overloaded brain keeps forgetting to do so. I do still intend to do so, and would encourage you to do likewise. If you don't already have contact details, this link probably covers your region. https://www.mymentalhealth.org.au/page/consumer-and-carer/carer-and-family-support/
"Not responsible for the wellbeing of my family..." oooh, that could be argued both ways. It is a bit of an "oxygen masks" situation. That thing in the airline pre-flight presentation where they point out that if you don't first make sure your own brain is getting enough oxygen, you won't be in a position to make sure the child sitting next to you is OK. It's easy to take on too much responsibility for others, at the risk of reaching collapsing point yourself. But I couldn't imagine stepping back to such a degree that another family member went into meltdown due to lack of support. Seriously, what good would that do? A family is interdependant on each other for their wellbeing, so looking after them is part of looking after myself.
Good times together provide a bit of a bolster against the hard times that keep hitting like king waves. So do achievements, and solo experiences. Finding time for these things can be hard, but they have to happen. Supportive friends and family, supportive groups (mine include church, this forum, town garden club in a different way) all provide another kind of backstop.
I'm an independant kind of person, and am more comfortable giving help to others than accepting it for myself, but in a worst case situation, that might have to go out the window for a time. Have been there before... I had major neurosurgery when our youngest was a baby, and I had to swallow my pride so many times and accept support while I recovered. (Am very glad that at least I went home from hospital walking more or less independantly, but there were lots of other hurdles to get over too.) We also had to accept support after our house flooded. Living in friends' houses, having other friends help us clean up. Financially we usually do fairly well at making end meet, but we accepted an offer from Anglicare to cover back-to-school expenses post flood, because with so much else happening, it was easier to be able to walk in and buy everything new at full price instead of taking the extra time needed to bargain hunt, chase down second hand textbooks etc.
When the crisis is an ongoing situation rather than a big and easily defined event, it's much harder to know when you need to call in extra support. I know I probably err on the side of leaving it a bit late rather than asking too early or too often. With the kind of things you've got happening at the moment, your time is probably now.
