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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Looks and sounds pretty cool @Smc 😁

My mum has been bemoaning how bikes today didn't look as good as the ones she grew up with.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

My Dad used to do scramble racing in the '50s. He had BSAs, a Panther, and his favourite ride was an Ariel Red Hunter. Having seen some on the road, I can see why, but they're a bit expensive nowadays.

He used to ride his boke to work, and remembers one cold winter when he was cracking ice off his big thick gloves on arrival.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Smc

Mum was looking at a Triumph scrambler that she thought looked good (at the shop where we got our bikes). She thought it looked good till I asked the guy how much that is. It was only $27k + on roads. LoL it Didn't look nearly so good after that.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

How did you go today @Determined?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Enjoyed the course @Former-Member

Got a bit stressed when Darling kept trying to call me and sending me texts.

Seems she is not at all happy with me being off doing my own thing. (Despite being ok with it until now)

All a bit tense and on edge atm.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I recon it is great that this course is compulsory and now believe there should be a equilevant course for normal drivers licence. I have learned a lot today and expect to learn a lot more tomorrow.

Can't wait to actually get out on the road and put it all to practice 😁

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Well I passed my learner test 😁

Now 3 months of practice and on to my on road test.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hi @Determined - that’s a bummer about the uni course being on another campus. Have you made any decision about that yet? How’s the house situation going? Any closer to moving?

Excited for you about the bike. Hope all is well with your Darling and the kids and the dogs of course.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Congrats @Determined - will keep my out for a learner motorcylist with a spiderman helmet in situ. 😀

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@soul House settlement is scheduled for tomorrow. Looking like it is actually going to go through. Take 4 and 9 weeks later.

We have already moved in just had delays to the final settlement which means we have been unable to do any repairs maintenance or modifications to the place.

I have not made any firm decisions about uni yet. I have enrolled in 1 course, the only one offered in our location but I don't want to commit to anything yet as uncertain about mum inlaws health. I may need to take some time out if things go downhill 🙁

Darling not in a good space at the moment. Hoping after settlement is confirmed she may calm down a bit as she has been getting more anxious as it gets closer. (Based on how many times it has been put back). She is also not happy that I have been away for the weekend (have been home by 3 both afternoons) but as usual when ever I am happy or excited about something she falls apart. Lost count of how many times she tried calling yesterday despite knowing I would be on my bike or in a class doing theory. So again I spent the day stressing about home rather than concentrating on the task at hand.

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