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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined how is the belly today Bro?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Would not say fully recovered @Former-Member but safe enough to leave the house.

Paid the deposit on the mid life crisis purchase this afternoon. Delivery next week all going to plan. (I was hoping for this week but oh well) QRide licence course confirmed for this weekend 😁

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Former-Member, got a call this afternoon,

Bike arrives Friday morning 😁😁😁😁😁

Hope all is well at your end. Big day today here so off to bed for me.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Excellent news @Determined.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined, I've known people who've gotten a sidecar as a way of continuing to ride a bike after a leg injury, or as they've gotten older and less able to support the weight of the bike at traffic lights etc. Y'know... you lose that centre of balance by just a bit and over she goes! 😄 We had a "fully loaded with camping gear" GS850 topple over at a servo. It was so topheavy it took four people to get it upright. Our more recent one has been a flat twin, so it's got more weight down the bottom and thus better stability.

Re. garage storage, I hope you can reach agreement with your Darling. My Mum used to stress about Dad's special interest stuff in the shed, despite her having a similar stockpile in the house. She still stresses about how many of his magazines and comic books he has in his room at the aged care home, but he keeps them scrupulously neat and still has stoage space to spare, so since they help keep him happy, they are staying. (And yeah, she's got her own big stash of craft materials, books and magazines.... is odd how hard it can be to see yourself sometimes. Is that what the "specks and logs" thingy is about...?)

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hi @Determined

Trust the new machine is now insitu in your garage and that weekend course goes well.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Former-Member bike was briefly in situ in my garage, now in situ at the driving school facility. driving school guy came by this afternoon and picked it up for me as it is better to do the course on the bike I will be riding. looking forward to the course 🙂

7am start tomorrow, will have to leave home by 6.30. yawn,

@Smc was the GS850 a BMW? nice bike.

For that very reason I will be sticking with something light though 🙂

Mine is a Honda 500x (limitation adventure bike)

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Had a look at the bike in the garage this morning @Former-Member @Smc

not sure it will fit where I was thinking anyway, Darling will be pleased 🙂

It seems to have grown between the yard where I bought it and arriving here lol,

I will have to have a look and play when it comes home Sunday afternoon.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined, the GS was a Suzuki.

Our current not-registered bike is a Russian imitation BMW ;). Made in the 1970s but effectively WW2 technology. We've modified it a little over the years. BMW Bing carburettors to replace the rather horrible slide carburettors it had, after market Harley tail light, lots of little things. (It takes Alfa Romeo points, for example.)

It's a fun ride, and tough as old nails. Rumour has it that "back in the U.S.S.R." you could buy a post hole digger attachment that was fitted onto the shaft drive. Ours is a solo, but they were often sold as outfits. We've got an under construction sidecar which may go onto it one day.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

And Hubby just reminded me that it has a reverse gear, which is a fun party trick. 😛
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