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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined, I've occasionally succeeded in dragging my family out for summer night walks, and they have enjoyed it once I got them moving. We were doing it more as a pleasant stroll than as an exercise opportunity. Once we were staying overnight in an old goldmining era town, and I persuaded them to come "window shopping". At night, you can go up to the glass and peer inside without feeling like a voyeur, and we found a couple of shops that way which looked interesting enough to visit the next day when they opened. Another time was in our own town, Christmas night, when it was all decorated up but totally deserted. We literally danced in the middle of the main street with coloured lights sparkling around us. 🙂 Memories like those can really be good to look back on, and we all need the "happy spots" now and then.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Smc started answering you over on hot chock but decided it would be more suitable here.

I am seriously considering taking next semester off from uni to give my brain a chance to rest and regroup. One part of me feels relieved at this option while another part scares me not having something accountable to turn up to. Going to be discussing this in depth with uni councillor/ advisor tomorrow and trying to get back to see a councillor I was seeing earlier in the year.

Slowly working on diet and exercise also.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

There's pros and cons both ways...

I did a permaculture design course a few years ago as a way of getting some structure and "me time" into my life, but I don't think I could do anything of the sort at the moment. So it kind of depends where you're at now. There's so much going on for you at the moment that the break may do you good.

Will be praying.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Well I did not get to see the uni advisor today, I turned up on time but she was busy or fogot as she had her door closed. Should have knocked apparently, anyway booked in again for next week. I am thinking thought that next semester off is prudent, particually given that we dont know what is going to happen with mum in law. Potential for a bumpy road sometime in the near future is high I think.

Managed 2 x 2 km (to and from work) and a 5km walk (with darling) today so feeling pleased about that.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Good on you with the walking @Determined. Yeah - weigh up the options regarding uni. How far through your course are you?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Have done 18 of 24 required units @soul

Changes to the course also mean I will now be required to travel to main campus over an hour away to complete. They are no longer offering the required courses where we are due to budget cuts.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

Any closer to a resolution regarding the house?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Current proposed date is Monday week @Former-Member

Have asked our solicitor to chase an update on Monday. Still not holding my breath though.

The current proposed date will be 9 weeks past the original settlement date.

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

How are you going with getting things sorted in your new place?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Getting there @Former-Member

Aim to have it sorted before Christmas.

Need possibly 1 more book shelf for books currently in the shed. Currently a source of anxiety between Darling and I because she wants to get rid of everything in the shed. (Easy for her as it us all mine and the childrens) .

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