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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined ... here and listening

It would be lovely if your darling follows through and you get a chance to speak to pdoc.

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Have you been able to chat with your counselor or anyone as yet @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Former-Memberall going to plan we are going to write down some notes together so that she is agreeable as much as possible to what I am saying.

Having thinges written down I believe will help me to get things across and not miss anything important.
Ie I neglected to mention on Tuesday the increased reliance on PRN over past weeks / month.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

My councillor is on hollidays for the next month @Former-Member
My chat with the help centre this afternoon is about it .
Help centre lady was most helpful even if I was all over the place with my thoughts.

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Even if you write them down while you think of them @Determined, it might be wise to even send them to pdoc before appt (confidentiality does not stop him from receiving this information).

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I am grateful @Former-Member that this doc will actually listen and note my information,
I feel I just need to be more succinct in infomation provided and how I provide it. That is more about confidence on my part than anything

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

working on a mood chart that darling can take to her appointments or I can email through prior.
Have in mind some things to add for context.

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Oh no @Determined, doesn't it feel at times that when you could really do with the help your supports are not there.

I am sure the help lady understood, this is a time when our thoughts are all over the place.

I have found writing things down is the best way for me, take far too long composing notes, doing them over a few days, but that way I summarise things better, remain respectful etc.

I hope you are able to get some rest tonight Bro, I need it to.

Remembering you and your darling in prayer.

Darcy

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Former-Member

Keeping you in prayer also, understand you have some concerns of your own.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I managed to get some self care in last night and this morning,

Last night I went out for some me time activities for the 5th week in a row (regular Friday activity) , and this morning headed out early to a mens breakfast at church...

Was hard in both cases because it is hard not to hover at the moment and I do feel quite weary after it all but think I will be better for it...

Still having trouble sleeping at the moment but hoping if I can push myself today I may flake tonight and get some much nedded rest.

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