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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor22 Jan 2018, 1:25 pm AEDT

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor14 July 2018, 10:09 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Agreed to new terms again last night and signed amendments @Former-Member just waiting for confirmation that owners have now signed.

Sold sign appeared this morning so that has to be a good sign.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor14 July 2018, 10:11 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Darling seems more relaxed tonight so I am thankful for that also.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember14 July 2018, 11:19 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Sold sign does sound promising @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor15 July 2018, 8:07 am AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Got an email.late last night @Former-Member, contra t is signed.😁

Email was sent earlier in the day but my phone was delayed in downloading it.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor15 July 2018, 10:05 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Darling seems to be holding together quite well. Being so busy probably helps a lot.

Had a mini moment when I was moving tanks and waterline but we got past that quickly.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor16 July 2018, 9:12 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I am starting back at uni tomorrow so hoping that darling copes ok with that.

We had a lovely lunch out today courtesy of the real estate. The ladies we are dealing with could see she was getting really stressed so they wanted to do something nice for her . Feeling so blessed with how understanding and helpful they have been.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor19 July 2018, 7:56 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Former-Member

For Sale sign went up in front to our house at 3 this afternoon, by 5 the real estate had had the first phone enquiry. This has given darling a boost in confidence as she has been worried none would be interested and we would not be able to sell.

Have another full day tomorrow getting ready for our first open house on Saturday afternoon.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember19 July 2018, 10:20 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

Have you been able to get any sleep Bro? How are things going at the in-laws? Has their sign gone up too?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor20 July 2018, 7:21 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Have been sleeping a lot better @Former-Member

Combo of all the physical activity and I have reduced some meds (with consultation with gp) that I suspected was affecting sleep.

See how things go this week when I am back into studies and anxiety levels go up.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor20 July 2018, 7:57 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Mum.and Dads sign went up same time as ours. We have our first open house midday tomorrow.

We did not get everything I wanted done but we have achieved so much I cant complain. I recon it is looking pretty good.

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.