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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

2306 replies

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

My wife is a beautiful intelligent person 95% of the time. Married 3 times, almost 60, and never had a stable relationship with someone who cared for her, from birth.

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

We have had a couple of experiences with hospital staff and poor understanding making things worse 😔

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

My wife returned from hospital 2 weeks ago with cracked ribs and is suffering great pain but frightened to get help.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Caused by a security guard throwing her to a concrete floor and pressing on her ribs with his hand and weight when landing. I went to Human Rights and police and they won't do anything without my wife's okay. My wife was furious when she found out that I had done that. Still hardly talking etc

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

That is sad.

My wife grew up in a loving and caring home so not sure what happened other than an unfortunate gene pool. (High prevalence of MI within the family)

There were things that happened that were traumatic for her but Moreso because of her heightened sensitivity I think. And her family moved around a lot including in remote communities.

Her parents have been a huge help and support over the years.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Oh wow. That is bad.

I would be complaining also.

Thankfully we have not experienced anything like that (physical) mostly ignorance and nastiness.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

have to go, its late. hope to talk soon.
God bless Bro

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

You too @NRG

Hope to be around later tomorrow night.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Feeling blessed tonight.

We had a setback on the contract for our new house today where the sellers changed their mind in a verbal offer. This caused an enormous amount of stress and anxiety.

The real estate ladies we are dealing with noted her anxiety so are sending us for lunch on Monday while photographs are being taken so she does not have to worry about it. They were a little worried about her. Just not accustomed to that level of understanding and support from strangers.

They really going over and above what I would have expected to make this easier for my darling.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Trust negotiations re: new place are sorted soon @Determined

Lovely to hear agents are understanding.

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