Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor22 Jan 2018, 1:25 pm AEDT

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

2306 replies

361 - 370 of 2,306

1...36 37 38...231

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember02 July 2018, 5:26 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

Your self worth

Your self esteem

Your life and

Your health all matter

Here and listening

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor02 July 2018, 6:36 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Former-Member

Self worth and self esteem are somewhat exhausted at the moment.

I have been asked to cover a shift for someone at work tomorrow. Looking forward to some time by myself.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Shaz51Senior Contributor02 July 2018, 6:37 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

hugs @Determined

Hello @Former-Member, @Sophia1, @PeppiPatty, @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor02 July 2018, 7:42 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Just put meds out per nightly routine and note that darling did not take her meds again this morning after promising she would.

My grandfather used to say you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Not much more I can do other than encourage her.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor03 July 2018, 7:29 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

All seems to be quiet here at the moment.

I left work early after a string of texts about being depressed and wanting to die. Then got in trouble because leaving early meant I lost an hour pay. Can't win. I don't know if she expected me to, wanted me to or just wanted me to prove I do actually care. Either way it just feels like another silly game.

I don't think darling was in any real danger but there was no point staying at work as I was not focused or productive anyway.

She spent all day in bed with a doona over her head. Got up briefly to heat up some pizza for lunch so that is something.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

SmcSenior Contributor03 July 2018, 9:09 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thinking of you @Determined, and praying.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor03 July 2018, 10:02 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Smc

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor04 July 2018, 3:16 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I had planned some yard work this afternoon but ended up having an hour sleep after lunch.

Went out earlier to look at the mower but it is out of fuel, have to wait till we go to town to get s3 from kindy to save a trip. Tyre was flat but inflated ok thankfully. Thought of servicing the mower but would rather mow first so the mowing gets done as the service is a big job.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor04 July 2018, 3:20 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Checked out the boat also.

Tyre flat. Battery flat. Steering seezed. Covered in mold. At least a full day to make it serviceable again. That can be a job for the weekend. I really need to get on top of some maintenance about the place. Can't believe how I have let everything go 😤

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

SmcSenior Contributor04 July 2018, 3:32 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Is the steering a job that could be a lot easier if you gave any supposed-to-be-moving parts a shot of WD-40 now, so that by the weekend it's had time to work in via capillary action?

Mould is also something that might benefit from time to soak. Ordinary old white vinegar kills a lot of mould species, so if you put some in a spray bottle and spray the affected areas, it may be easier to clean off.

361 - 370 of 2,306

1...36 37 38...231