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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor22 Jan 2018, 1:25 pm AEDT

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember28 Jan 2018, 6:15 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Quick check in Bro, how did family day out go?

Been thinking of you and darling as things unfold with MIL. Hoping you will get good support and advice from counselor in relation to this @Determined.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor29 Jan 2018, 4:42 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Former-Member, it has been a rough couple of days here, walking on eggshells again, this afternoon is looking a little better thankfully but still dark clouds on the horizon I fear. Our day out on Friday went well but ended with a bang sparked by attitude from one of the boys and continued down hill from there.

Things are looking a little more positive for mil but we won't know for certain until the end of the week at earliest. I know this is weighing heavy on my darling.

I managed to get bub enrolled in daycare today starting in May so darling is feeling happier about that. A relief for me also that we actually have a plan. It is at the center we wanted also which I am happy about.

About to head off now in search of non-existent water leaks darling has a bee in her bonnet about. A fine line between not appeasing irrational behaviour and being sensitive to concerns no matter irrational they seem to me.

Trust all is well for you and Mr Darcy.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor30 Jan 2018, 5:38 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

We have our second couples counselling session tomorrow, she has not said much to me but my darling has told both her mother and our pastor in the last week that she is confident and comfortable with the lady, this is a big step for my darling. 😊

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor31 Jan 2018, 6:38 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Our follow up couples counselling appointment today went well, my darling and I are both quite comfortable with her. I believe this process is going to be good for us both individually as well as a couple.

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember31 Jan 2018, 7:12 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined
Hoping you are both able to implement positive changes so you both feel loved and appreciated.
Darcy

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor31 Jan 2018, 9:49 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Former-Member, I am feeling more positive about it all.

We have a lot of work in front of us but at least we have some positive direction and guidance to help us now. I realy appreciate how this lady is able to get to the foundation of significant issues in such a non threatening way.

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember04 Feb 2018, 8:19 am AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hey @Determined

Quick check in to see how your week has been.

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor04 Feb 2018, 9:48 am AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

In crisis here at the moment @Former-Member 😳😩

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember04 Feb 2018, 9:54 am AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined
Prayers going up now. No need to respond, understand you have enough on your plate Bro.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

lolaSenior Contributor04 Feb 2018, 10:15 am AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hi @Determined
lola here, one of the moderators, checking to see how you are?
take care
lola

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