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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor22 Jan 2018, 1:25 pm AEDT

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember21 Apr 2018, 6:37 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

As I have alluded to Mr D's BPii Dx was the best one that I could reconcile with his symptoms when I started to look things up although I have always 'reserved judgement' so to speak as it has always been thought atypical. Due to recent circumstances it has become apparent to me that the treating team quite possibly think he has a rarely diagnosed form of Sz, it is one that I may have trouble getting my head around as Dx criteria not at all straightforward, but in the back of my mind I am wondering ...

In recent research I came across a paper and a talk about medication in BPD, might help you - author was a Dr Silk, think there may be a you tube talk but have not listened to it.

https://www.google.com.au/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Psychopharm.NEABPD.Apr2015-2.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjH_uOW-MraAhURhbwKHWG7CpQQFjAKegQIBhAB&usg=AOvVaw2Cvb0AMZI_HxiaZEiWGGe9

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor23 Apr 2018, 8:02 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Former-Member have had a bit oa look at the doc thankyou, some of it makes senes and I can see a general psttern but finding it hard to concentrate on much at the moment so will have to come back to it sometime in the near future...

Darling has a review with pdoc (mostly tomlook at blood test results), unsure if I should go along and query any increased dose or not. Feeling overly emotional at the moment so not sure how I would come across.

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember23 Apr 2018, 8:26 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hey Bro, am praying for you heaps, that you will have clarity and wisdom, sometimes it is best to trust our intuition.

To be emotionally depleted is exhausting @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor25 Apr 2018, 12:28 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Former-Member

I went with my darling to her pdoc appointment yesterday at her request. it went ok...

Current dose remained the same, I made the observation that I felt there was a regression after the last dose increase, pdoc dismissed it with the blood levels were not correct and needed to be increased,

I am happy that the new med is working in that the thoughts of suicide have passed but still maintain she was doing much better (energy and motivation wise) on the lower dose. just have to wait and see if this improves.

She actually went out and did some mowing this morning while I am at the uni working on group assessment, that in its self is an improvement as she has lacked the energy and motivation for a while.

Good to hear on other thread that Mr D out and about also.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Shaz51Senior Contributor25 Apr 2018, 12:34 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

hopes it improves @Determined for you and your darling

mr shaz has been outside today doing maintence around the house , afternoon off now

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember25 Apr 2018, 12:53 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

It could be if there is a good response that the pdoc might be thinking of dropping one of the other meds @Determined so they might be aiming for documented optimum levels rather than base therapeutic levels.

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember25 Apr 2018, 1:43 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

How are things with MIL @Determined?

Can I gently encourage you to deal with one bit of clutter today?

I know you are feeling emotionally depleted but I did notice earlier on that a date night was touted as part of couples counselling. Do you find you can still talk about things when alone?

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor25 Apr 2018, 2:52 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

MIL finds out more about treatment oprions on Friday @Former-Member
Joining some dots I am more than a little concerned about future prospects.

Re clutter today... I am at uni working on group assessment.
Not hetting much done unfortunately as have picked up cold and feelimg poorly. Bub not hood either so have been uo most of last night with him. Tired as well as head cold and cough 😵

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember25 Apr 2018, 3:30 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Oh @Determined, you have not had a good gut feeling re: MIL all along, will be sending up a few extras for you all.

I do hope your cough does not develop into the man flu ....

I am such a nag Bro, feel free to remind me of this from time to time 😀😀😀 but I know when thing are rough it is hard to chip away at things that will make us feel even a small sense if achievement.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor25 Apr 2018, 4:20 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Haha @Former-Member, I don't do man flu, I usually try an burn through it, not always the best approach but old habits die hard.

Planning some yard work on the weekend weather permitting.
Have had some mower parts bumping around in the back of the car for the last couple of weeks that I should do something about. (new blades, oil, filters etc.)

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