FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Friends, families and carers

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

2306 replies

2,061 - 2,070 of 2,306

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hi @Smc thanks for that. That is encouraging.

Our little mans tumor involves the optic nerves so praying it never comes to surgery. That would result in at least partial loss of sight 🥺

Added note... Surgery is rare for this particular condition for that reason. Alternatives are still pretty yucky though.

While the prognosis is positive for us at this stage still feeling overwhelmed by it all. A lot hanging on (for me emotionally) the next mri in 3 months.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I should add that I do in a way feel grateful after spending the day in a children's oncology waiting room.

Things could be much worse than they are.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined, mine was anchored on the olfactory nerves and pressing on the optic nerves. So similar area. So one ongoing result of the surgery is that I've got no sense of smell... but I still have a full sense of taste. Medically impossible, I've given up on questioning it and accept it as a blessing.

I'm guessing what they'll be watching is, at least in part, how much it's affecting his prefrontal cortex. Lots of important processing goes on in there. Hugs...

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

That is encouraging to hear of a success like that @Smc , appreciate you sharing.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Positive update

Had a wrap up meeting with a psychologist this afternoon. Primarily because funding cuts mean I no longer meet the requirements for bulk billing. But also because I am actually doing ok at the moment. Psychologist recons I am looking as well as she has ever seen me.

And I kind of feel that way also. Still long road ahead but I have some more direction at the moment.

And as distressing as it has been and there is still some anxiety ahead untill further scans are done with our s3, I have probably managed to keep it together during this time better than I would have in the past.

Also I am pursuing some job opportunities that have not been on the radar that meet the needs of supporting my family far better then I set out to do at the start of my degree... and I have come the realisation that what my degree gives me I don't have the capacity to manage re stress and responsibility. But it has given me a window into this new opportunity which is great.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

* 6 weeks and my degree is done... yea!!!

4 years over budget but we got there 😃

Well almost there. So close I can taste it!

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Whooo @Determined. 🙂 My ceramics diploma was a two year course done over five... Younger Daughter's birth and the sneaky brain tumour both happened within that five years, so I guess I had good reason. 😛

We'll have to have some kind of graduation ceremony for you here when you've finished.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Congrats @Determined ! I know how it feels. I'm almost there with my uni studies too and absolutely looking forward to it! I've only got 2.5 assignments to go.

We may need to both celebrate @Smc

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

1 assignment to go.

5 weeks and counting 🎊🎉🎆

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

1 assignment to go.

5 weeks and counting

2,061 - 2,070 of 2,306