Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Well we missed the worst of the wild weather but it has been wet enough to keep darling and I from riding out on the road. Stuck on the indoor trainers but at least we are still moving. Hoping for a longish road ride on the weekend if the weather cooperates. We need the rain though so no complaints re the rain.

@Smc how are things going for you.

Have been thinking of you and family.

Ta @Determined.
There's been some incidents over the past month that I've gone into detail about on my thread, won't repeat that here.

Some things are quieter than usual, but I've been feeling pretty depressed with a streak of anxious a lot of the time lately. Spending lots of time in the garden looking after myself. Our official complaint that we put into the MH Complaints Commissioner is inching forward, and is at least partially why I'm feeling the strain. Lots of having to recap what's been going on for way too long with a way too inadequate response.

@Smc I saw those posts but couldn't find the thread before. (Just me being challenged atm). Saw you pop up behind the support button and wanted to let you know I was thinking of you and family I trust you get some results out of your complaint. Ot really is troubling that these problems are so wide spread. What happens to people who don't have someone to advocate for them 😕

I contemplated filing a complaint some.years ago but then decided I didn't have the capacity. I admire you for having the strength to do so. So thoughts and prayers as you navigate this.

Also I was given a thinly veiled threat about being in our position and having children. We were fortunate that I was able.to cook the books enough to manage some private cover. I don't know how we would have survived our chapter without it.

@Determined, the capacity is only just there. Our psychologist directly asked us at our last session if we had the energy to escalate it further, as at that point we were getting no response from the local mental health team. The answer was "not really...".

I hate getting confrontational. And it's going to be such a rats nest of who takes responsibility for what. Our daughter's care is scattered between private providers, NDIS providers, GPs + assorted specialists investigating problems that may or may not be physical in origin... paramedics + emergency ward, phone helplines, family and friends.... The big issues that really need to be addressed are the lack of connection between all the above, and the fact that she's getting little or no mental health care or follow up when she presents at emergency. But beyond that, the total biggie is how on earth do we stop her from turning up at emergency so often??? Most of her crises happen at night, and at that time, phone helplines (which very often refer her to emergency) and the mental health team overnight skeleton staff are the only psych support available.

It is so hard when there's kids in the mix. I know that when I was growing up, I had no idea that some of what was happening at home was not normal. I thought everyone had hassles that were kept behind closed doors. My sister and I would probably have qualified as "young carers" under present day definitions. I was providing the psych support and argument mediation, she was picking up the pieces with the housework. I have seen families where the kids were genuinely unsafe with one or both parents, and that's very hard to watch, but if the kids can be supported and protected in their own family home, it's much better than removing them elsewhere.

Dad tried to shield us to some degree, often by getting us out of the house one way or another. We've both as a result got good memories of bushwalks, visits to Grandma, and other outings with Dad. And we've tried to shield our own kids from both my Mum's past meltdowns when we'd visit them, and from Older Daughter's crises, but at the same time you have to be honest with them, and sometimes shielding just isn't possible, so despite our best efforts, home has often been a hard place for them to be. 😞

Hey @Smc. When you spoke about the lack of connection between the supports, that really resonated with me. System access can sometimes feel like endless dead ends. I'm glad you are on this forum here with others who have experienced similar situations. I have been there too, my thoughts are with you 🌷

Thanks @Former-Member.

@Determined thinking especially of you this evening.

Thanks @Former-Member

Hi @Determined, haven't heard anything for you from a while. You doing OK?