Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I agree about faith being a source of strength @Smc, I really dont know how I could possibly manage without that faith, and when I look back over time there are times when I really don't know how I stayed on track. Without that faith everything would be in vain.

I am often reminded of this poem @Smc , particulaly with our journey over the last 12 months.

It's sort of what Easter is about. There's no place so black and lonely that it's beyond God's reach.

Well the pdoc appointment this morning was mostly unproductive,

We did not discuss the possibility of a hospital stay in the end, my darling made it very clear before going in that she was not interested in going to hospital so I saw little point in taking up our limited time in an argument. 😞

Doc did agree to discontinue one of the meds that the GP queried based on the recent change in mood (From anxiety to depression) but only after I explained that it was meerly an observation she thought he may find useful based on her observations re change in mood over time.

I gave him some information regarding her current antidepressants based on a DNA analysis that a friend organised for us (she is studying genetics and suitability of different meds based on genetic makeup). While initally interested he would not change the med as we had hoped to one that was recomended based on genetics (apparently she had already tried that one?), but added another med instead ... A mood stabiliser. Im really hoping this one will make a difference. I find the concept of adding more and more meds frustrating. My pdoc who I have now sacked was doing the same for me ... he was not impressed when I asled if he was trying to make me rattle lol

So waiting now to see how this new med goes... I will be on study break from tomorrow for a week so in a better position keep a closer eye on her during the transition.

*edit* this was out of sequence... makes more sense now...

I have explained to my darling as diplomatically and gently as I can that if she wants to stay out of hospital then things have to change. Her response that she is doing everything she can but it is too hard at the moment was a good opportunity to point out that I can see how hard she is trying and that is why I thought she should be in hospital because life is in fact too hard for her at the moment and I was scared of loosing her.

We've got that kind of thing sitting on our mind with our daughter at the moment too. Last week's incident was too close for comfort, and she's generally struggling at the moment. Unfortunately with her being a bit "between professionals", it's likely to be a more prolonged process than any of us like getting a referral.

Another tricky point with her is that she doesn't cope well with group therapy settings, and that's what a lot of the clinics centre their programs around. That, and trying to work around assorted phobias and compulsive things that don't sit too well in a clinic, are offputting for her, even though she knows she needs some intensive help.

Hope you can make headway at your end.

Thanks @Smc

Likewise I hope you can see some positive changes at your end.
It is so hard watching our loved ones fall apart and feeling helpless to do anything about it.

Our Pdoc would happily admit her again but I would realy prefer her to be a willing participant rather than me making the decision and telling her she has no choice.

Hey @Determined I'm so sorry today's appt didn't go as well as you had planned. And I agree, you would much prefer your darling to be a willing participant than to have to make her go to hospital. Please keep us posted how things go. Sending you big hugs.

If we can eliminate the suicidal thoughts I will be most grateful @Former-Member

Appreciate your prayers.