Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Morning everyone ..... ☕️💕

Hi and welcome to the forums @StillIrise 👋

@Smc so much of what you said resonates with me. It seemed to be just a matter of gritting my teeth and hanging on before our situation took a dramatic change, unable to see in that darknesss, but as you said, the moon does eventually come out from behind the clouds, and the sun out of its eclipse. I was responding to symptoms in he-who-was-the-former-love-of-my-life without realising across 30-odd years that I was dealing with a masked facade, and "curable" or even "improvement" is not part of the vocabulary with his apparent condition.

Ypurs is very different @Determined in that there exists a diagnosis, there is an acceptance that treatment is needed (despite how exhausting, twisted, and roller-coastery that pathway is) and your darling not only needs ongoing support, but can recognise that, and so can the support team.

I am watching my soon2bX now jerking my kids around with his manipulations without being able to stand as a buffer for them, very hard with D2 a preempted pawn in the middle, but now I have to await the outcomes of legal rather than medical supports.

Self-care and outside supports are as critical for you as they are for your darling @Determined ❣️ While you are unlikely to want to book yourself a nail appointment methinks, please consider such things as a massage, book club, walking group ..... even hit-and-miss attendance will be better than nought. You will need time out, respite, before the carer needs a carer.

Hi @Fallen1 and welcome.

Tagging you here as I thought it may be useful to you. Happy to answer any questions you may have or to just lend an ear.

@Faith-and-Hope e self care... another motocycle adventure in n the pipeline. Was hoping for a trip before school holidays but didn't get there.

Boat is dusted off and being prepped for some fishing adventures with our boys in upcoming school holidays.

👍 @Determined .....

Darling has made it clear she is not interested in going out in the boat. (Not interested in leaving the house except to spend money on food and plants) so looks like it will be me and the boys unless some thing changes.

May be less stressful that way anyway.

A case of whatever.

I feel we are on the verge of a potential crisis here at the moment. I have noted darling struggling for a while but holding together well. Relatively.

Well she has mad some rather alarming statements tonight that have me concerned we are at the beginning of a down hill slide. I hope i am wrong.

(Should add that there have been no threats of self harm at all. Just around coping generally and desire to function around others).

Required maximum allowable dose of prn to get through dinner with family tonight. Something she has not needed for a while.

We have a review meeting re S3 tomorrow following on from some assessments and I am quite concerned that darling is going to drop her bundle if it does not go the way she wants it to. And I am not sure it will based on feedback to date. In hindsight I possibly should have made a phone call before the meeting to discuss how we could manage such an outcome 😓 . We need to access the support system available and I dont want her burning our bridges. Fine line between support and I am not ok with that you need to settle down. 😭

🙏🙏🙏

Darling managed yesterday's meeting better than expected. Results to cognitive testing for S3 were kind of in line with what she was hoping for. She really wants him to go to special school. I was hanging on to hopes for a more positive result 😔

Sending gentle thoughts your way @Determined .